March 30, 1832<\/b><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
MANCHESTER\u2014Recently, local apothecaries have been experimenting with something one might recognize from the latest in the tavern scene, the sweet oil of vitriol. This substance, now known as ether, was originally known for its euphoric, blithe-inducing properties that made peasants go wild at the function. However, recent discoveries indicate that it is also pretty good at making people unconscious for surgery. While previous methods of managing pain during procedures have involved strapping patients to gurneys so they can\u2019t run away, having them bite into chunks of willow bark, and showing patients drawings of themselves surrounded by comely barmaids in the afterlife, this new discovery will hopefully make the occasional brain surgery a bit easier on physicians and patients alike.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI can say for a fact that this amputation went way better than the last one,\u201d says Anthelm Blumg, one of the first experimental patients. \u201cLast time, I was in so much pain that at one point I just jumped up from the operating table and started beating the shit out of the doctor. This time, I didn\u2019t feel a thing! It was cool to learn that my weekend vice is good in some contexts. Kinda makes you think. It\u2019s symbolic like that.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The <\/span>Dealer <\/span><\/i>was able to speak to his physician, who was sporting two black eyes. \u201cYeah, he wasn\u2019t conscious for this recent surgery,\u201d said Dr. Felbert Brooke, \u201cBut he beat the shit out of me anyway when he woke up. I think he just does that for fun. It\u2019s cool about this ether stuff, though. I guess.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" While previous methods of managing pain during procedures have involved strapping patients to gurneys so they can\u2019t run away, having them bite into chunks of willow bark, and showing patients drawings of themselves surrounded by comely barmaids in the afterlife, this new discovery will hopefully make the occasional brain surgery a bit easier on physicians and patients alike.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7198,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-historical-issue"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7197"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7199,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7197\/revisions\/7199"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}