{"id":7188,"date":"2025-07-16T11:16:17","date_gmt":"2025-07-16T16:16:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=7188"},"modified":"2025-07-16T11:16:17","modified_gmt":"2025-07-16T16:16:17","slug":"union-army-morale-skyrockets-after-president-lincolns-stunning-kazoo-solo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2025\/07\/16\/union-army-morale-skyrockets-after-president-lincolns-stunning-kazoo-solo\/","title":{"rendered":"Union Army Morale Skyrockets After President Lincoln\u2019s Stunning Kazoo Solo"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">March 16, 1864<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">SPOTSYLVANIA\u2014President Abraham Lincoln traveled to Virginia today to help muster the troops at the front of this harrowing war. And boy did he!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cGentlemen, I know you do not wish to hear me speak,\u201d Lincoln began.\u00a0 \u201cYou need my support, but I cannot give it with words. Your efforts transcend words. And thus, I have brought something else here, to reinvigorate this battleground.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He then removed his signature tophat. The soldiers were surprised, to be sure, when lo! Resting atop his head was a single, perfectly balanced kazoo! Deftly taking the kazoo in hand, he then replaced the hat\u00a0 and launched into a moving piece, one never before heard by mortal ears, and one that shall surely never be heard again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This reporter cannot describe it, truly. It was the first enticing scent of snake oil, it was the sight of dawn over Maryland, it was the feel of a Union uniform under your calloused fingers! But most of all, it was the sound of the kazoo. Magnificent.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYou need my support, but I cannot give it with words. Your efforts transcend words. And thus, I have brought something else here, to reinvigorate this battleground.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7189,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-historical-issue"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7188","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7188"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7188\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7190,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7188\/revisions\/7190"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7189"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}