{"id":7175,"date":"2025-07-05T12:38:39","date_gmt":"2025-07-05T17:38:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=7175"},"modified":"2025-07-05T12:38:39","modified_gmt":"2025-07-05T17:38:39","slug":"ssris-cure-great-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2025\/07\/05\/ssris-cure-great-depression\/","title":{"rendered":"SSRIs Cure Great Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">November 28, 1932<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">NEW YORK\u2014Amidst plummeting stocks and record unemployment, economists have proposed a new solution to America\u2019s financial depression: Zoloft. In a recent report by the Council for International Economists, experts have outlined a plan to stimulate consumer spending through the careful usage of SSRIs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThe problem is that everyone is sad,\u201d said the council&#8217;s chairman, John Maynard Keynes. \u201cIf everyone were happy, people would buy stuff and the economy would be good. But everyone is sad so people don\u2019t buy stuff and the economy is bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After thinking for a moment, Keynes added somewhat off-handedly, \u201cI think that\u2019s called animal spirits or something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Under the newly proposed policy, each man, woman, and child in America will be issued a handle of gin and prescription for Prozac. Consumers are encouraged to patronize newly constructed \u201cHappiness Centers,\u201d erected in the basements of disused banks.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThis is way better than that dumb flapper stuff we were doing a few years ago,\u201d said local woman Cynthia Oznick. \u201cTurns out I don\u2019t even like that jazz that much. I just needed some Lexapro.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cThe problem is that everyone is sad,\u201d said Council for International Economists chairman John Maynard Keynes. \u201cIf everyone were happy, people would buy stuff and the economy would be good. But everyone is sad so people don\u2019t buy stuff and the economy is bad.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7176,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-historical-issue"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7175"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7175\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7177,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7175\/revisions\/7177"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}