{"id":7103,"date":"2025-05-22T10:41:54","date_gmt":"2025-05-22T15:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=7103"},"modified":"2025-05-21T13:50:15","modified_gmt":"2025-05-21T18:50:15","slug":"study-finds-jesus-crucifixion-likely-hurt-a-lot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/22\/study-finds-jesus-crucifixion-likely-hurt-a-lot\/","title":{"rendered":"Study Finds Jesus’ Crucifixion Likely Hurt a Lot"},"content":{"rendered":"

GOLGOTHA \u2014 A groundbreaking study published in <\/span>The Lancet <\/span><\/i>suggests that Jesus\u2019 crucifixion at the hands of the Romans was likely very painful.<\/span><\/p>\n

The study, undertaken by a group of doctors and archaeologists who think Jesus is really interesting, represents a major development in the longstanding, heated debate over just how unpleasant the Christian messiah\u2019s execution really was. \u201cFor years, scholars have insisted that getting crucified wasn\u2019t really that bad, and that Christ was just making a big deal out of nothing,\u201d said Dr. Geraldine Willoughby of Johns Hopkins University, speaking at a press conference unveiling the findings atop Golgotha, the hill where Jesus was crucified. \u201cAccording to this study, however, it actually hurt a lot. Like, a lot a lot.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

According to Zachary Flangle, a medical researcher at King\u2019s College London specializing in nail-related injuries, the study is a major step in understanding what being crucified is really like. \u201cWe\u2019ve analyzed all the available evidence,\u201d he explained at the press conference. \u201cWe\u2019ve sifted through available archaeological records and contemporary accounts of other crucifixions, and even crucified a couple of people in the lab as a point of comparison. We can definitively say that getting crucified would have been terribly disagreeable to Jesus.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Flangle explained that while it is difficult for the layman to understand exactly why crucifixion is so painful, it has a lot to do with nails being driven into the hands and feet. Being made to hang indefinitely from these skewered appendages also appears to be a decisive factor, as it applies pressure to the chest that makes it hard to breathe, Flangle added. \u201cAll in all, just a really rough sort of a thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Asked to comment on the group\u2019s findings, a spokesperson for the Vatican said the study\u2019s conclusion is in line with Catholic doctrine but also stressed that crucifixion didn\u2019t hurt Jesus as much as the anguish he feels every time someone masturbates. Clark Studley, the international President of Protestantism, told <\/span>The Dealer<\/span><\/i>, \u201cWell golly oh gosh almighty! That must have been a heck of a doozy for our Lord and Savior. Yessiree Bob. My oh me oh my.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Flangle explained that while it is difficult for the layman to understand exactly why crucifixion is so painful, it has a lot to do with nails being driven into the hands and feet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":7105,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-scientific-excellence"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7103"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7106,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7103\/revisions\/7106"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7105"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}