{"id":7076,"date":"2025-05-12T15:36:59","date_gmt":"2025-05-12T20:36:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=7076"},"modified":"2025-10-27T23:14:38","modified_gmt":"2025-10-28T04:14:38","slug":"huzzah-progressive-parent-pledges-to-merely-threaten-queer-kid-instead-of-denouncing-them-this-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/12\/huzzah-progressive-parent-pledges-to-merely-threaten-queer-kid-instead-of-denouncing-them-this-year\/","title":{"rendered":"Huzzah! Progressive Parent Pledges to Merely Threaten Queer Kid Instead of Denouncing Them This Year"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In one of the most heartwarming stories of the new year, a brave parent has taken a sharp progressive turn in his relations with his queer child. Jim Chucker, father of 17-year-old Jade, a non-binary high school student using they\/them pronouns, decided to shed some of his instincts ingrained deep in his mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cYou know, my son is quite the f*g\u201d, Jim said. \u201cI used to shower him with love and then he tries to humiliate me? Is that the \u2018thank you\u2019 for raising him? And then he\u2019ll go on and get into women\u2019s restrooms, harassing innocent women, while at the same time absolutely ruining them in sports?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cBut, you know, new year, new me. I realized that I would probably have CPS called on me and potentially go to jail if I denounced that motherfucker. And I really don\u2019t give a fuck if he becomes a guinea pig for Big Pharma. So, I decided to merely threaten him instead. Hopefully he finds the true path to Jesus.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Needless to say, Jade was still viscerally disgusted at their father\u2019s comments. While <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Shady Dealer<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> initially attempted to reach Jade for comment, the paper was informed that quoting them could be construed as promoting \u201cgender ideology,&#8221; recently banned by an executive order.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As for Jim, it is unclear whether his behavior towards his child will change. However, he has celebrated his new decision by commenting on a minimum of seven Ben Garrison comic strips as of the time this article was written.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Needless to say, Jade was still viscerally disgusted at their father\u2019s comments. While The Shady Dealer initially attempted to reach Jade for comment, the paper was informed that quoting them could be construed as promoting \u201cgender ideology,&#8221; recently banned by an executive order.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2090,"featured_media":7077,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-off-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2090"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7076"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7076\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7078,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7076\/revisions\/7078"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7077"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}