{"id":7034,"date":"2025-04-11T11:57:31","date_gmt":"2025-04-11T16:57:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=7034"},"modified":"2025-04-05T12:01:30","modified_gmt":"2025-04-05T17:01:30","slug":"recent-study-shows-ominous-whistling-in-hallway-growing-steadily-closer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/11\/recent-study-shows-ominous-whistling-in-hallway-growing-steadily-closer\/","title":{"rendered":"Recent Study Shows Ominous Whistling in Hallway Growing Steadily Closer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your ears do not deceive you, my friends. A group of expert scientists using audio equipment, strict observance, and double blind studies have confirmed that the whistling we first reported on only a few minutes ago is indeed getting steadily closer.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These experiments were varied, including a control group using noise-cancelling headphones, an experimental group that made loud noises to drown out the whistling, and one particularly brave researcher peeking outside the door to spot whatever was causing the whistling. Unfortunately, the visual experiment failed, as the lights to the building had already been shut off.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does this mean for the trapped students? Researchers posit a series of 3 possible conclusions from this data:<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Perhaps the whistling is friendly. A janitor, or a workman. Or even perhaps a professor staying late. If this is true, then there is nothing to worry about, and work should continue as normal.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s just the wind. There is no whistling. The control group is correct, it\u2019s all a hallucination and we\u2019re living in a fantasy world of monsters and boogeymen.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Run.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A group of expert scientists using audio equipment, strict observance, and double blind studies have confirmed that the whistling we first reported on only a few minutes ago is indeed getting steadily closer.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":7035,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7034"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7034"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7034\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7036,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7034\/revisions\/7036"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7035"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}