HYDE PARK, IL – Student tour guide Timmy Myers has been fired from his job giving campus tours at the University of Chicago after the administration learned he had just been making shit up about gargoyles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One tour survivor told The Dealer <\/em>that Myers had claimed that the gargoyles were founding members of the University. Supposedly, they had previously been part of the school\u2019s senior leadership and \u201cspent most of their time looking down on undergraduates, a role they retain to this day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n In an exclusive interview, Myers told The Dealer, <\/em>\u201cI got tired of walking backwards, wildly gesticulating, explaining that I personally picked this school because my dad went here, and telling prospective students that I\u2019m also from New York.\u201d He admitted to spreading misinformation but questioned, \u201cwhy would I be involved in marketing if I can\u2019t just make shit up?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n When we asked the University of Chicago how they planned to keep up with the demand for tours following staff cuts, a representative from the school sent us a link to Google Maps and claimed, \u201cthe internet was literally invented for this purpose. If you can\u2019t figure it out, then maybe this school isn\u2019t for you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Myers concluded that, \u201cthe gargoyles would back me if they could talk.\u201d The gargoyles could not be reached for comment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In an exclusive interview, Myers told The Dealer, \u201cI got tired of walking backwards, wildly gesticulating, explaining that I personally picked this school because my dad went here, and telling prospective students that I\u2019m also from New York.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":6885,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6884","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6884","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6884"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6884\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6887,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6884\/revisions\/6887"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6885"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6884"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6884"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6884"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}