{"id":6874,"date":"2025-01-10T19:11:38","date_gmt":"2025-01-11T01:11:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6874"},"modified":"2025-01-10T19:11:39","modified_gmt":"2025-01-11T01:11:39","slug":"woodlawn-pooper-strikes-again-will-work-on-building-his-own-type-of-bomb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2025\/01\/10\/woodlawn-pooper-strikes-again-will-work-on-building-his-own-type-of-bomb\/","title":{"rendered":"Woodlawn Pooper Strikes Again &#8211; Will Work on Building His Own Type of Bomb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Campus is on edge as the infamous Woodlawn Pooper has resurfaced, leaving his, uh, \u201csignature\u201d in yet another unassuming corner of the residential commons. But this time, reports suggest the Pooper is taking things to the next level\u2014by developing a new shitty explosive device. The Woodlawn Pooper will take \u201cdropping bombs\u201d to a new extreme.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Woodlawn residents are understandably horrified, still remembering the Armenian Bomber of 2023. \u201cIt\u2019s one thing to find a surprise on the eighth floor,\u201d said one unlucky witness, clutching a bottle of Febreeze. \u201cBut if this guy\u2019s moving into <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">explosives<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, we\u2019re all in deep sh\u2014well, you get it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Experts are puzzled by the Pooper\u2019s motivations. \u201cIs it performance art? Is it a protest? Or does he just really hate indoor plumbing?\u201d mused one sociology professor, who plans to write a paper titled <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Defecation and Devastation: Urban Anarchy in the Age of Surveillance.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The UCPD have issued a vague warning, encouraging students to &#8220;stay alert and carry extra bags\u2014just in case.&#8221; Meanwhile, campus molecular engineers are reportedly designing \u201cblast-proof\u201d porta-potties to prevent further incidents.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Pooper, true to form, remains elusive. His latest manifesto, scrawled on a nearby wall, simply reads: \u201cFrom the ground I rise. From the gut, I create. Fear my art.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cIs it performance art? Is it a protest? Or does he just really hate indoor plumbing?\u201d mused one sociology professor, who plans to write a paper titled Defecation and Devastation: Urban Anarchy in the Age of Surveillance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":6875,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6874"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6874\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6876,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6874\/revisions\/6876"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6875"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}