Students arrived on campus last month to find drastic changes to the dorm check-in policy. To authenticate students\u2019 identities, UChicago Housing and Residence Life (HRL) will now require students to provide retinal scans and fingerprints, to be kept in an expansive new database built in the labyrinthine basement of Renee Granville Grossman. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe believe these requirements will reduce our endemic culture of hooliganism,\u201d said a spokesperson for HRL when asked for comment. When asked about the implications the policy would have on free expression, the spokesperson said, \u201cCampus security is a compelling interest for the University, so I\u2019m not really worried about free expression. Besides, wasn\u2019t there a big donation for that recently? Surely it\u2019ll balance out, I feel like.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ve seen banks with less security than weed dispensaries, and I\u2019ve seen prisons with less security than Campus North,\u201d said Allison McAfee, a second-year living in an on-campus apartment. To ensure an accurate log of check-ins, HRL will require students to provide the time of arrivals and departures, demanding not just the hour and minute, but also the current phase of the moon. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In less 1984-esque dorms like Woodlawn, students claim they treat the system as a game, and seek opportunities to live out their Now You See Me<\/em> heist fantasies by testing methods like simultaneous scanning IDs, or simply not scanning at all. For others, the moon phase requirement serves as an enriching opportunity to educate themselves about the movement of our celestial satellite. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Polling conducted by the Dealer<\/em> found that it took students an average of four minutes to complete the check-in, leading many to wonder why we can\u2019t all, in the words of an anonymous second year, \u201cjust let that shit go.” Many students have turned their attention to other dorm-related phenomena, such as the abnormal disappearance of knives in dining halls south of the midway, or the confounding question, \u201cwhere the hell is I-House?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cWe believe these requirements will reduce our endemic culture of hooliganism,\u201d said a spokesperson for HRL when asked for comment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":6810,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6809"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6809\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6812,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6809\/revisions\/6812"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}