{"id":6762,"date":"2024-11-05T19:10:00","date_gmt":"2024-11-06T01:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6762"},"modified":"2024-11-05T12:47:29","modified_gmt":"2024-11-05T18:47:29","slug":"breaking-jill-stein-wins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2024\/11\/05\/breaking-jill-stein-wins\/","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING: Jill Stein Wins"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In a startling upset, <em>The Chicago Shady Dealer<\/em> has called the 2024 Presidential Election for Green Party candidate Jill Stein. Defying the predictions of almost every pollster, Stein won over 74% of the popular vote. Notably, she has not win a single swing state \u2013 although Pennsylvania is still being counted \u2013 but she did win the other 43 states and the District of Columbia to earn 445 electoral votes, well over the 270 vote threshold.<\/p>\n<p>In light of this shocking victory, the Dealer interviewed two Stein voters on the UChicago campus to ask about their decisions.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, I just wasn\u2019t really satisfied with either candidate,\u201d said Charles Chardles, a third-year biz-econ major. \u201cI like most of Trump\u2019s policies, but he\u2019s said that he likes the uneducated, and I\u2019m obviously very educated, so I just don\u2019t think he represents me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Some speculated that Americans supported the now president-elect due to theories that the Green Party stood for making more money. \u201cMoney is green and Jill Stein is the Green Party,\u201d said an anonymous student, also a biz-econ major.<\/p>\n<p>Former President Donald Trump, the Republican nominee, gave a concession speech Tuesday evening after it had become clear that Stein\u2019s lead was insurmountable. \u201cWow, what a crowd,\u201d Trump said. \u201cWhat a big crowd. We have the biggest crowds, folks, but you know, Jill Stein, they say she won very bigly. \u2018Jail\u2019 Stein, they called her. Very bad Democrats, the radical left, calling her \u2018Jail\u2019 Stein. The election, they\u2019re saying she stole the election, they may be right but it\u2019s okay. It\u2019s okay. She\u2019ll be good for us. Crazy Kamala wanted to take our cows, folks, she said no more cows. Jill loves the cows, she loves the chickens, she loves the horses. The dogs and cats. The fish. The lions, the tigers, and the bears. The zebras \u2013 is the zebra black or white? Nobody knows. People come up to me, they tell me, \u2018Donald, Mr. President, the zebras are\u00a0 white, absolutely.\u2019 But I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At this point in the speech, Mr. Trump began to do an impression of Hannibal Lecter before trailing off.<\/p>\n<p>President Biden also delivered a statement following Stein\u2019s victory: \u201cIt\u2019s so inspiring that the American people finally have a woman in office. This office, you know, uh\u2026 it\u2019s oval. The Oval Office, folks, that&#8217;s where I am! A vote for president, uh\u2026 you gotta understand. Here&#8217;s the deal: and another thing. Donald Trump wants to take away my vote, he wants your vote, he wants to vote in [unintelligible mumbling]. And that\u2019s the deal, folks. I\u2019m not joking. I\u2019m being serious, folks.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a startling upset, The Chicago Shady Dealer has called the 2024 Presidential Election for Green Party candidate Jill Stein.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":6764,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6762"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6762"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6762\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6765,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6762\/revisions\/6765"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6764"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}