{"id":6707,"date":"2024-10-13T10:25:51","date_gmt":"2024-10-13T15:25:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6707"},"modified":"2024-10-13T10:25:51","modified_gmt":"2024-10-13T15:25:51","slug":"extra-extra-fresh-rso-ads-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2024\/10\/13\/extra-extra-fresh-rso-ads-here\/","title":{"rendered":"Extra! Extra! Fresh RSO Ads Here!"},"content":{"rendered":"

After weeks of back-and-forth communication, <\/span>The<\/span><\/i> Dealer<\/span><\/i> has generously agreed to advertise for several newer RSOs at a rate of $500 per ad. Given our commitment to provide our readers a complete picture, we scrapped the descriptions the RSOs wanted us to provide and, after thorough investigation, wrote our own.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

#1: Skydiving<\/span><\/p>\n

As the formal description would tell you, there\u2019s an upfront equipment fee of $100. As the formal description would not tell you, there\u2019s currently a death toll of ten people, but no one had to disclose it since it didn\u2019t happen on campus. Don\u2019t worry though \u2013 as the description would assure you, it is perfectly safe and there isn\u2019t any boring training module, so you can get right on with the \u2018diving!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

#2: Pizza Skaters<\/span><\/p>\n

Unlike joining any sort of cooking, baking, or pizza-making RSO, joining the Pizza Skaters RSO will ensure that you almost immediately receive quality pizza slices to consume. What the Pizza Skaters do is simple: put on their roller skates, place a large pizza on the ground, and start a free-for-all. Whatever you manage to divide is yours to keep and eat. Hey, it\u2019s free.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

#3: Light Bulbs Squad<\/span><\/p>\n

According to one of our investigators who managed to join this elite, secretive \u201cSquad,\u201d the members sit in a red circle surrounded by unlit light bulbs in a dark room for an hour. Our investigator said that the leader chanted in elementary Latin about the \u201cGod of Light Bulbs,\u201d and the light bulbs started flickering. You\u2019ll have to join if you want to figure out what happens after that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

#4: Hotel Hopping<\/span><\/p>\n

This RSO hopes to explore all the hotels in Illinois (and in the far future, expand to hotels in other states) and rate them. It\u2019s quite fun, if you have strong legs (they take the hopping part very seriously).<\/span><\/p>\n

#5: Impersonation<\/span><\/p>\n

The first lesson is how to wear a fake, curly mustache convincingly (no authentically mustachioed members allowed). If you can’t do that, this is not the club for you.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

#3: Light Bulbs Squad<\/p>\n

According to one of our investigators who managed to join this elite, secretive \u201cSquad,\u201d the members sit in a red circle surrounded by unlit light bulbs in a dark room for an hour. Our investigator said that the leader chanted in elementary Latin about the \u201cGod of Light Bulbs,\u201d and the light bulbs started flickering. You\u2019ll have to join if you want to figure out what happens after that.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2086,"featured_media":6708,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6707","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2086"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6707"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6707\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6709,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6707\/revisions\/6709"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6708"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6707"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6707"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6707"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}