{"id":6638,"date":"2024-06-04T23:37:14","date_gmt":"2024-06-05T04:37:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6638"},"modified":"2024-06-04T19:41:15","modified_gmt":"2024-06-05T00:41:15","slug":"letter-from-cain-to-abel-discovered-in-sacrificial-lamb-pit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2024\/06\/04\/letter-from-cain-to-abel-discovered-in-sacrificial-lamb-pit\/","title":{"rendered":"Letter from Cain to Abel Discovered in Sacrificial Lamb Pit"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">February 27, Dawn of Man<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">LAND OF NOD \u2013 Investigators have recently discovered a very, very old sacrificial pit. After thorough research involving several hallucinogens, historians have determined that this pit is, indeed, a sacrificial lamb pit from the Ancient Days of Man, the one mentioned in the Book of Genesis. They also found an authentic letter addressed to \u201cAbel The Lamb Killer\u201d from \u201cWheat is Superior\u201d inside the pit. Some sentences that the historians have managed to decipher include \u201cGod still loves me more,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m gonna hit your head with a stone really hard,\u201d and \u201cYou better start running.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>February 27, Dawn of Man<\/p>\n<p>LAND OF NOD \u2013 Investigators have recently discovered a very, very old sacrificial pit. After thorough research involving several hallucinogens, historians have determined that this pit is, indeed, a sacrificial lamb pit from the Ancient Days of Man, the one mentioned in the Book of Genesis. They also found an authentic letter addressed to \u201cAbel The Lamb Killer\u201d from \u201cWheat is Superior\u201d inside the pit. Some sentences that the historians have managed to decipher include \u201cGod still loves me more,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m gonna hit your head with a stone really hard,\u201d and \u201cYou better start running.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6639,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6638"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6638"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6638\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6640,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6638\/revisions\/6640"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6639"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6638"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6638"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6638"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}