{"id":6564,"date":"2024-04-01T12:42:49","date_gmt":"2024-04-01T17:42:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6564"},"modified":"2025-01-01T19:58:07","modified_gmt":"2025-01-02T01:58:07","slug":"you-should-write-an-article-about-bartlett-pizza-says-my-friend-todd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2024\/04\/01\/you-should-write-an-article-about-bartlett-pizza-says-my-friend-todd\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cYou Should Write an Article about Bartlett Pizza,\u201d Says My Friend Todd"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">MAX PALEVSKY, WEST\u2013Sporting a childlike grin and lightly punching my shoulder, my friend Todd announced on Friday that I \u201cshould write an article about Bartlett pizza.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The announcement came when he was sitting on my bed and descanting on the varying degrees of quality in the food served at each of UChicago\u2019s four dining halls. Breaking off mid-sentence, Todd leapt off the bed and sped to my side, seemingly so as to imbue the monologue with a vivid sense of immediacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The second-year Business Economics major insisted that an article on the pizza of Bartlett Dining Commons would captivate the readership of <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Shady Dealer<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. \u201cDude, people would love that shit,\u201d he explained. \u201cHave you ever had their pizza before? Right, of course, but I\u2019m saying\u2013it\u2019s just so bad. It\u2019s insane. There\u2019re so many jokes you could write about. Like, about how it tastes. Maybe you could come up with, like, twenty jokes about it and then pick the best\u2013four? Five? I could help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI think it\u2019d be good because, you know, it\u2019d be a way of writing about something relatable. Not that the stuff you\u2019re writing isn\u2019t relatable but like\u2013okay, what was up with the gout article? Didn\u2019t really get that one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As Todd was ushered out of the room, he offered clues as to other things it would be \u201ccool to do a thing on.\u201d These included the ferocity of the automatic flush toilets at Woodlawn, a student in his SOSC class with an obnoxious voice, and \u201cthis one thing\u2013okay, so for context, I was at Cobb the other day\u2013I wasn\u2019t really planning on getting anything there, you know, I was more just there to study and whatnot. I feel like that\u2019s okay, right? I never know if they expect me to get something. It&#8217;s the same at Harper. Or anywhere, actually. But like, why should they care, right? Do you know what I mean?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The second-year Business Economics major insisted that an article on the pizza of Bartlett Dining Commons would captivate the readership of The Shady Dealer. \u201cDude, people would love that shit,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":6565,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6564"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6564"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6564\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6566,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6564\/revisions\/6566"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6565"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6564"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6564"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6564"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}