{"id":6561,"date":"2024-04-01T12:37:05","date_gmt":"2024-04-01T17:37:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6561"},"modified":"2025-05-01T01:34:25","modified_gmt":"2025-05-01T06:34:25","slug":"wow-guy-in-your-civ-class-really-cant-solve-that-crossword","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2024\/04\/01\/wow-guy-in-your-civ-class-really-cant-solve-that-crossword\/","title":{"rendered":"Wow! Guy in Your CIV Class Really Can\u2019t Solve That Crossword"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">COBB 115\u2014Last Wednesday, students in Jewish Civilizations II observed an anonymous second-year working on a crossword for what can only be described as an extraordinary amount of time. \u201cHe wasn\u2019t getting anything right,\u201d said first-year Lara Bergan. \u201cThe clue was \u2018black and white cookie\u2019 and it was four letters. He stared at it for, like, ten minutes straight, just not putting it together. I was eating oreos right next to him. Come on.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Witnesses\u00a0 reported that after struggling in vain with \u201cCountry South of Texas; starts with M,\u201d he switched\u00a0 to puzzling out \u201cJK Rowling Protagonist\u201d, eleven letters, ending in T-T-E-R. Upon realizing that MAD HATTER didn\u2019t fit, the second year reportedly switched to Connections, which so frustrated Lara that she kicked over a trash can.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When reached for comment, the anonymous second-year (Jason Wegman, Class of 2026, Han House) told the Dealer in confidentiality, \u201cThey\u2019re meant to be hard. If you could win the game all the time then it wouldn\u2019t be a game. Life is about winning and losing. Also I\u2019m really hung over, I haven\u2019t slept in 73 hours, and the last time I ate a vegetable was June. Please, please don\u2019t publish this, you\u2019re hitting a man while he\u2019s down. I am trying my best.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Correction: Jason Wegman lives in Boyer House, Room 819, not Han House. Also, upon publication The Dealer neglected to include his Social Security number, which is 418-41-1116.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last Wednesday, students in Jewish Civilizations II observed an anonymous second-year working on a crossword for what can only be described as an extraordinary amount of time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2080,"featured_media":6562,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2080"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6561"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6561\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6563,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6561\/revisions\/6563"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6562"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}