{"id":6522,"date":"2024-02-19T08:53:43","date_gmt":"2024-02-19T14:53:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6522"},"modified":"2024-02-18T19:57:14","modified_gmt":"2024-02-19T01:57:14","slug":"reg-to-be-painted-yellow-in-honor-of-corn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2024\/02\/19\/reg-to-be-painted-yellow-in-honor-of-corn\/","title":{"rendered":"Reg to Be Painted Yellow in Honor of Corn"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">REGENSTEIN LIBRARY\u2013 UChicago has launched a plan to paint the Mansueto Library yellow \u201cin honor of corn.\u201d The building makeover was announced at a press conference in Bartlett Dining Commons.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The event was meant to have many speakers, but only CEGU Professor Bill Ding turned up to deliver his address. Dr. Ding spoke directly to all seven attendees. With a mouth full of cream corn, Dr. Ding mumbled phrases like \u201cincreases sustainability\u201d and \u201cmakes me a happy, happy boy\u201d before collapsing in a stupor on the Alper House table.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The plan will require 36 painters, 5 months, 4 million dollars, and will make the weird glass library from Divergent look like a seasonal vegetable. UChicago has recently faced many public accusations of mishandling finances. But as Interim VP &amp; CFO <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Brett Padget <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">told the Dealer, \u201cFuck it \u2013 when quarantine ends, corn-en-tine begins!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">University President Paul Alivasatos agreed with Padget\u2019s positive outlook on the project: \u201cThe corn speaks to me. It shows me things. Beautiful things. Terrible things. But the corn is not a kind nor forgiving God. The corn demands sacrifice. The corn demands tribute. The corn demands blood. The corn makes me \u2014\u201d At this point in the interview, President Alivastos fell into a convulsing fit of religious ecstasy, and could not be made to continue the conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Correction: The Dealer Previously stated that the plan would only take 5 months and 4 million dollars. However, the project is now set back 4 more months and 4 million dollars after the painters apparently believed they were painting \u201cCobb Hall\u201d yellow. In an official statement, UChicago defended the confusion stating, \u201cYou can\u2019t rush art.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The plan will require 36 painters, 5 months, 4 million dollars, and will make the weird glass library from Divergent look like a seasonal vegetable. UChicago has recently faced many public accusations of mishandling finances. But as Interim VP &#038; CFO Brett Padget told the Dealer, \u201cFuck it \u2013 when quarantine ends, corn-en-tine begins!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2080,"featured_media":6524,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6522"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2080"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6522"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6522\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6526,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6522\/revisions\/6526"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6522"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6522"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6522"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}