{"id":6475,"date":"2023-12-07T08:58:27","date_gmt":"2023-12-07T14:58:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6475"},"modified":"2025-05-01T01:34:43","modified_gmt":"2025-05-01T06:34:43","slug":"uchicagos-most-eligible-bachelor-found-to-be-escaped-specimen-from-uchicago-medicine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/07\/uchicagos-most-eligible-bachelor-found-to-be-escaped-specimen-from-uchicago-medicine\/","title":{"rendered":"UChicago\u2019s Most Eligible Bachelor Found to be \u201cEscaped Specimen\u201d From UChicago Medicine"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The women of UChicago were in for a sexy surprise Thursday when \u201cDangred McPhee,\u201d a human-like bird, escaped from his research enclosure. Known by faculty as XQRRRROZRRR1111999, Dangred has seven toes, three wings, and a rancid smell.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHe\u2019s the hottest guy I\u2019ve seen on campus. Maybe ever. I love the way his feathers ruffle against his strange, pale, contorted body,\u201d gushed fourth-year Angie Veddle. Another student, third-year Brenda Chase added, \u201cHis wide, bloodshot yellow eyes know exactly how to draw me in.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">McPhee has also gained social status among UChicago students, getting involved in RSOs and campus culture. \u201cHe\u2019s a member of CHOMUN now,\u201d explained Greg Campbell. \u201cDuring the first meeting, he attacked the President and started trying to break the tables, but once we gave him a free t-shirt he screamed<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> really hard <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and then stopped. I gotta say, he has more commitment to this RSO than a lot of people.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sweating profusely, a representative from UChicago Medicine stated, \u201cThis is very bad. The specimen is not for human eyes to see. It was not designed by God. It should never have happened. If anyone gets within 10 feet of it without a hazmat suit\u2026 God help you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There have been several reports of students around campus suddenly having bulging eyes and sprouting feathers. Any connection to Dangred is unclear. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The women of UChicago were in for a sexy surprise Thursday when \u201cDangred McPhee,\u201d a human-like bird, escaped from his research enclosure. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2080,"featured_media":6476,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6475","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2080"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6475"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6475\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6477,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6475\/revisions\/6477"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}