{"id":6434,"date":"2023-11-15T08:23:20","date_gmt":"2023-11-15T14:23:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6434"},"modified":"2023-11-13T18:27:28","modified_gmt":"2023-11-14T00:27:28","slug":"golden-retriever-boys-out-indeterminate-terrier-mix-boys-in-says-new-poll","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2023\/11\/15\/golden-retriever-boys-out-indeterminate-terrier-mix-boys-in-says-new-poll\/","title":{"rendered":"Golden Retriever Boys Out, Indeterminate Terrier Mix Boys In Says New Poll"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A new poll conducted by the IOP found that the male-attracted populace of University of Chicago is almost unilaterally sick of golden retriever boys. Out of 306 respondents, only three wanted a golden retriever boyfriend.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Indeterminate terrier mix boys led the polls, closely followed by Doberman-Chihuahua boys. \u201cI\u2019m so sick of the weaponized incompetence. Why are you in Physics for Future Presidents? You\u2019re literally a physics major!?\u201d said one of the respondents. \u201cI need a man who smells a little funky and has an uncontrollable mane, but like in a \u2018Would Survive a Car Crash\u2019 kind of way. Like a dog that could totally eat a chocolate bar and not die&#8230;\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A self-proclaimed dissenter, who identified themselves as \u201cjust Ryland,\u201d Molotov-cocktailed our office upon release of the poll.\u00a0 We did not make out the following expletives: \u201cSo what if I wanna mansplain taxes to a self-inflicted total fucking moron?! I deserve a malewife!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We advise all blond men to immediately dye their hair brown and learn an archaic language or risk being loveless for the foreseeable future. Unless you want Ryland. We\u2019re taking boyfriend applications for Ryland. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Indeterminate terrier mix boys led the polls, closely followed by Doberman-Chihuahua boys. \u201cI\u2019m so sick of the weaponized incompetence. Why are you in Physics for Future Presidents? You\u2019re literally a physics major!?\u201d said one of the respondents. \u201cI need a man who smells a little funky and has an uncontrollable mane, but like in a \u2018Would Survive a Car Crash\u2019 kind of way. Like a dog that could totally eat a chocolate bar and not die&#8230;\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2080,"featured_media":6436,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6434","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2080"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6434"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6440,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6434\/revisions\/6440"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6436"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}