HENRY CROWN FIELD HOUSE \u2013 Chaos ensued at the O-Week \u201cGlow Party\u201d last Friday after the glow-in-the-dark punch was found by UCPD to contain traces of radium. The historic UChicago Glow Party, known for its Sodom and Gomorrah-like lawlessness, sin, and balloon animals galore, was taking place as usual at the end of a long and tiring O-Week, when radium was discovered in the punch. \u201cI came to the Glow Party to get real f\u2019d up, you know? I even pregamed it with my first White Claw. But I didn\u2019t want to get f\u2019d up like this,\u201d says first-year Freddy Whiz. \u201cNow I gotta worry about growing an extra arm or something like Marie-friggin-Curie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0Students seemed to be despondent, but no one more than transfer student Peter Parker, says his roommate. \u201cThis dude has just been in bed sleeping since the party. He also looks like he\u2019s been working out, I guess when I\u2019m out of the room. But we all know that means he\u2019s not going to make it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n UChicago administration is currently investigating the case, but is finding few leads. \u201cI knew that one of the dorks at this school would go all mad-scientist on us, eventually. It could be any one of \u2018em,\u201d stated UChicago Glow Party Safety Representative Herman Vanderbill. \u201cI gotta say though:\u201d he added, \u201cisn\u2019t it a little cool that the punch at the Glow Party actually glowed? I bet Sig Chi didn\u2019t have <\/span>that<\/span><\/i>!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" HENRY CROWN FIELD HOUSE \u2013 Chaos ensued at the O-Week \u201cGlow Party\u201d last Friday after the glow-in-the-dark punch was found by UCPD to contain traces of radium. The historic UChicago Glow Party, known for its Sodom and Gomorrah-like lawlessness, sin, and balloon animals galore, was taking place as usual at the end of a long and tiring O-Week, when radium was discovered in the punch. \u201cI came to the Glow Party to get real f\u2019d up, you know? I even pregamed it with my first White Claw. But I didn\u2019t want to get f\u2019d up like this,\u201d says first-year Freddy Whiz. \u201cNow I gotta worry about growing an extra arm or something like Marie-friggin-Curie.\u201d \u00a0Students seemed to be despondent, but no one more than transfer student Peter Parker, says his roommate. \u201cThis dude has just been in bed sleeping since the party. He also looks like he\u2019s been working out, I guess when I\u2019m out of the room. But we all know that means he\u2019s not going to make it.\u201d UChicago administration is currently investigating the case, but is finding few leads. \u201cI knew that one of the dorks at this school would go all mad-scientist on us, eventually. It could be any one of \u2018em,\u201d stated UChicago Glow Party Safety Representative Herman Vanderbill. \u201cI gotta say though:\u201d he added, \u201cisn\u2019t it a little cool that the punch at the Glow Party actually glowed? I bet Sig Chi didn\u2019t have that!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2080,"featured_media":6347,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6346","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2080"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6346"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6346\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6350,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6346\/revisions\/6350"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6347"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}