{"id":6269,"date":"2023-04-29T16:00:07","date_gmt":"2023-04-29T21:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6269"},"modified":"2023-04-25T17:05:53","modified_gmt":"2023-04-25T22:05:53","slug":"area-man-solves-grain-shortage-by-inventing-grain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2023\/04\/29\/area-man-solves-grain-shortage-by-inventing-grain\/","title":{"rendered":"Area Man Solves Grain Shortage by Inventing Grain"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">MESOPOTAMIA \u2014 After centuries of a grueling grain shortage, an area man has revolutionized human civilization by inventing grain. While his family was out hunting and gathering to get enough food for themselves, Pesty Cyde, in a spiritual episode, buried some seeds in the ground. Turns out, a couple months later, those seeds sprouted into an edible plant. Cyde then \u201charvested\u201d the \u201cgrain,\u201d and made some tasteless porridge. According to a recent source, Cyde was last seen hoarding the grain and proclaiming it all belonged to him, citing his divine revelation of \u201csocial hierarchy.\u201d Onlookers remarked that this concept was \u201cfoolproof\u201d and \u201cnever would cause any problems ever.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>According to a recent source, Cyde was last seen hoarding the grain and proclaiming it all belonged to him, citing his divine revelation of \u201csocial hierarchy.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6270,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-historical-issue"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6269","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6269"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6269\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6271,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6269\/revisions\/6271"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6270"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}