{"id":6230,"date":"2023-04-30T15:00:06","date_gmt":"2023-04-30T20:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6230"},"modified":"2023-04-25T16:29:11","modified_gmt":"2023-04-25T21:29:11","slug":"op-ed-i-am-the-emperor-and-i-want-dumplings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2023\/04\/30\/op-ed-i-am-the-emperor-and-i-want-dumplings\/","title":{"rendered":"Op-Ed: I Am the Emperor, and I Want Dumplings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You peasants have no respect these days. Where did all this ungrateful whining come from while I\u2019ve been ruling magnanimously from above? My spies in your village told my underlings, who told my secretary, who told me that some of you little big-headed babies have started grouching. You all say I don\u2019t <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">do<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> anything, I apparently just sit around and eat <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dumplings<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> all day, while you all allegedly <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">starve<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, I\u2019ve got news for you! Some people are born to eat dumplings fed to them by quaking peasants from a silver platter, and other people are all of you. If you wanted dumplings, you should have just not been peasants. That\u2019s on you. How do you like that, huh? You can\u2019t tell me what to do! I am the Emperor, dang it, and when I want to eat dumplings, I get to eat <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">all<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> the dumplings I want, and there\u2019s nothing you miserable worms can do about it. What are you going to do, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">revolt<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2026Well, shit.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some people are born to eat dumplings fed to them by quaking peasants from a silver platter, and other people are all of you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6231,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6230"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6230"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6230\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6232,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6230\/revisions\/6232"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6231"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}