{"id":6153,"date":"2023-04-19T15:00:04","date_gmt":"2023-04-19T20:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6153"},"modified":"2023-04-05T11:12:22","modified_gmt":"2023-04-05T16:12:22","slug":"im-not-a-bad-person-im-just-british-and-other-lies-we-tell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2023\/04\/19\/im-not-a-bad-person-im-just-british-and-other-lies-we-tell\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m Not a Bad Person, I\u2019m Just British (And Other Lies We Tell)"},"content":{"rendered":"

As human beings, we\u2019re all very prone to telling lies \u2013 to ourselves and to others. But when does fibbing\u00a0 go too far, and when do we need to face the truth? Here\u2019s 5 lies that we tell on a daily basis:<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not a bad person, I\u2019m just British<\/b><\/p>\n

Yeah, I know, it\u2019s kinda scary to have to admit that you\u2019re not perfect\u00a0 \u2013 and sometimes it\u2019s just easier to dismiss our actions. But being British just makes things worse. Maybe you\u2019ve murdered 3 people \u2013 and that\u2019s not ok \u2013 but claiming that you actually like beans on toast definitely reflects worse on you. And Brad, if you\u2019re reading this, just remember \u2013 being British is not your fault, but you should absolutely be blamed for it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m 6 feet tall<\/b><\/p>\n

You\u2019re not. 6 feet tall people don\u2019t exist, and if they did, they shouldn\u2019t. You\u2019re 5\u2019 11 or less. Probably 5\u2019 10, actually. Deal with it, loser. Why do you care about having 6 feet? Do you have a foot fetish or something? I\u2019m 5\u2019 7 and I\u2019m proud of it. That\u2019s why I have a girlfriend and you don\u2019t, Brad.<\/span><\/p>\n

Brad\u2019s attractive<\/b><\/p>\n

He\u2019s not. He\u2019s really not. Like, ok, he has nice muscles that look really comfortable to lean against, and <\/span>I guess<\/span><\/i> his face is pretty cute, and I\u2019ll grant that his strong, firm hands would feel wonderful if he pushed me against the wall, but I don\u2019t actually remember what point I was trying to make.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Life is meaningless and you will never make a difference<\/b><\/p>\n

People who say that life is meaningless clearly haven\u2019t read my articles in the <\/span>Dealer<\/span><\/i>. Maybe <\/span>your <\/span><\/i>life is meaningless, Brad, but <\/span>I\u2019m<\/span><\/i> making a difference. You and your slim but toned body might never amount to much in your life, but all the sex jokes I\u2019ve written about Dean Boyer have done masses of good for the world. What have you done, Brad?<\/span><\/p>\n

My girlfriend goes to another university<\/b><\/p>\n

Sure, and my girlfriend went to another man.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And Brad, if you\u2019re reading this, just remember \u2013 being British is not your fault, but you should absolutely be blamed for it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":902,"featured_media":6170,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/902"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6153"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6153\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6154,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6153\/revisions\/6154"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}