{"id":6050,"date":"2023-03-20T18:53:25","date_gmt":"2023-03-20T23:53:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=6050"},"modified":"2023-03-20T18:53:25","modified_gmt":"2023-03-20T23:53:25","slug":"area-sim-starts-fire-by-making-salad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/20\/area-sim-starts-fire-by-making-salad\/","title":{"rendered":"Area Sim Starts Fire by Making Salad"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>SUNSET VALLEY \u2014 Local father Iqbal \u201cSul Sul\u201d Alvi caused a massive house fire at 43 Water Lily Lane yesterday afternoon after attempting to prepare a serving of Autumn Salad. Neighbors estimate that Alvi caused \u00a7500 worth of property damage yesterday afternoon, roughly half the value of his entire house.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know what happened,\u201d Alvi told reporters, visibly distressed. \u201cOne moment I\u2019m putting a nice lettuce on the chopping board, and all of a sudden the counter\u2019s on fire and so is my hair \u2014 wabadebadoo!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At press time, the Alvi house had apparently been burgled, with the family losing their most valuable possession (a clogged Bargain John toilet that the elder Alvi son had refused to fix.) Attempts to install a burglar alarm in Build Mode were unsuccessful, said police who arrived at the scene 8 hours later.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Neighbors estimate that Alvi caused \u00a7500 worth of property damage yesterday afternoon, roughly half the value of his entire house.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6051,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6050"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6050"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6050\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6052,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6050\/revisions\/6052"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6051"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}