{"id":5824,"date":"2022-12-09T15:44:40","date_gmt":"2022-12-09T21:44:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=5824"},"modified":"2023-10-16T15:50:42","modified_gmt":"2023-10-16T20:50:42","slug":"sosc-class-definitively-solves-israel-palestine-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/sosc-class-definitively-solves-israel-palestine-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Sosc Class Definitively Solves Israel-Palestine Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"

Welp, we did it, folks. After 90 years of ethno-religious tension, the good students of SOSC 11300 have reportedly solved the Israel-Palestine conflict after just one class session. \u201cOur professor showed us a ten-minute <\/span>Vice<\/span><\/i> Explained <\/span><\/i>video about the conflict, and we just kinda\u2026 figured the whole thing out,\u201d said first-year sociology major Brett Mackman. \u201cI mean, like it was pretty obvious.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The students reportedly arrived at a definitive solution to the conflict after talking it over for about 80 minutes. It would have been quicker, but students kept prefacing their statements with \u201cjust to reiterate what was previously said,\u201d which ate up a fair amount of air time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it was pretty clear that people were padding their solutions to the problem in order to boost their participation grade,\u201d said second-year Mackenzie Chan. \u201cI honestly think I spent most of the class just playing online solitaire.\u201d she added, before describing a working two-state solution that respected both parties’ sovereignty.<\/span><\/p>\n

The resolution devised by the class was based on the political theories of Thomas Hobbes (or at least the four chapters of <\/span>Leviathan<\/span><\/i> that had been assigned the night before). The crux of the solution rested on two main points:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The people who are mad at each other should stop being mad at each other<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. And if people are still mad, they should refer back to point one<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    At a press conference following this monumental discussion section, leaders of Israel and Palestine were observed slapping their foreheads and continuously muttering, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t we think of that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    At a press conference following this monumental discussion section, leaders of Israel and Palestine were observed slapping their foreheads and continuously muttering, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t we think of that?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":902,"featured_media":5826,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/902"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5824"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5827,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5824\/revisions\/5827"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5826"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}