{"id":5817,"date":"2022-12-07T15:38:38","date_gmt":"2022-12-07T21:38:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=5817"},"modified":"2023-01-01T22:18:32","modified_gmt":"2023-01-02T04:18:32","slug":"point-an-apple-a-day-keeps-the-doctor-away-counterpoint-so-does-a-knife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2022\/12\/07\/point-an-apple-a-day-keeps-the-doctor-away-counterpoint-so-does-a-knife\/","title":{"rendered":"Point: An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away\/ Counterpoint: So Does a Knife"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Point: An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An apple is highly nutritious: it has 4g of fiber, 0.5g of protein, and it can lower risk of deadly diseases (and this is for an apple with a medium size of exactly 150 cubic centimeters, we checked!)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And aside from warding off sickness, an apple also drives away doctors. Why? It\u2019s quite simple. In order to go to medical school, a prospective student must have taken the MCAT, pass one science class, and become deadly allergic to apples.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Therefore, in order to avoid doctors, one <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">must<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> eat at least one apple per day. Otherwise, they <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">can<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">will<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> hunt you down with expensive medical bills. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Counterpoint: So Does a Knife<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know all the above is true, but I ate an apple every day last year and I <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">still <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">had to go to the doctor when I choked on one. They did something they called a \u201cHind Lick\u201d maneuver, or an \u201cabominable thrust\u201d \u2013 both sound really weird to me \u2013 and I had to pay $300 and another $50 for \u201cdeliberately bringing in substances poisonous to doctors\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anyway, I found out that a knife is much more effective, and now I don\u2019t have any trouble with doctors! I had to go again because of an accidental stab wound, and they even said I could \u201cleave the premises immediately\u201d when I took my knife out. Clearly a knife is much more effective.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I had to go again because of an accidental stab wound, and they even said I could \u201cleave the premises immediately\u201d when I took my knife out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2086,"featured_media":5818,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5817","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2086"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5817"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5817\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5819,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5817\/revisions\/5819"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5818"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5817"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5817"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5817"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}