{"id":5783,"date":"2022-11-26T15:31:49","date_gmt":"2022-11-26T21:31:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=5783"},"modified":"2022-11-26T12:58:16","modified_gmt":"2022-11-26T18:58:16","slug":"moses-danny-devito-your-dad-what-are-the-chances-that-these-iconic-men-will-get-into-fiji-this-saturday-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2022\/11\/26\/moses-danny-devito-your-dad-what-are-the-chances-that-these-iconic-men-will-get-into-fiji-this-saturday-night\/","title":{"rendered":"Moses! Danny DeVito! Your Dad! What Are the Chances That These Iconic Men Will Get Into Fiji This Saturday Night?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In order to fulfill its mission of enlightening the community, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the Shady Dealer<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> has ranked various men on their chances of getting into Fiji this Saturday night.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your dad (hahaha, get it?) (5\/10)<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just tell them he\u2019s a pledge who\u2019s been rapidly aging after pulling multiple all nighters in the Reg last week.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moses (9\/10)<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the Holy Book says:<\/span><b> \u201c<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then Moses stretched out his hand over the door of the frat; and the Lord made the DOOR into AN OPEN DOOR<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and the waters were divided.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Allen Sanderson (10\/10)<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sanderson is to frat bros what Moses was to the Israelites. However, he\u2019s not entering without first engaging the bouncer in a discussion on why taxation is socialism.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Danny Devito (7\/10)<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This man is what every Fiji brother strives to be: 4\u201910\u201d with a receding hairline and a little bit grumpy all the time.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">RuPaul Charles (4\/10)<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Honestly\u2026he\u2019s probably not showing up because he has better parties to attend.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sanderson is to frat bros what Moses was to the Israelites. However, he\u2019s not entering without first engaging the bouncer in a discussion on why taxation is socialism.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":902,"featured_media":5784,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5783"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/902"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5783"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5783\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5785,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5783\/revisions\/5785"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}