{"id":5565,"date":"2022-09-02T11:50:41","date_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:50:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=5565"},"modified":"2022-09-02T11:50:41","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:50:41","slug":"rating-the-old-white-men-ive-read-in-sosc-based-on-their-abilities-to-make-a-woman-orgasm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2022\/09\/02\/rating-the-old-white-men-ive-read-in-sosc-based-on-their-abilities-to-make-a-woman-orgasm\/","title":{"rendered":"Rating the Old, White Men I\u2019ve Read in SOSC Based on Their Abilities to Make a Woman Orgasm"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thomas Hobbes – 2\/10<\/b>. Tommy, the only \u201cnasty brutish and short\u201d thing is your dick. Definitely a life-long virgin. Probably never knew the female orgasm existed. Tries to \u201csovereign\u201d women but has the face of a wrinkly cow with severe constipation. My vagina is not the Leviathan; stop trying to take up the sword against my clitoris. Trust me, that\u2019s not how you do it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

John Locke – 3\/10<\/b>. Probably also a forever virgin but did some hand stuff. Definitely proposed by asking a woman to be his \u201clife, liberty and property.\u201d She said no, and, in his utter resentment for women everywhere, he became a philosopher. Would refuse to go down on a woman for \u201creligious reasons,\u201d but respond \u201cso no head??\u201d after a woman rejects sex with him. Locke, I\u2019ll never give you my tacit consent.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jean Jacques Rousseau 5\/10<\/b>. Knows what the clitoris is (congrats) but not how to spell it. \u201cEverywhere man is in chains\u201d\u2026ok, buddy chill with that BDSM shit. Definitely a wannabe masochist with creepy levels of attraction to inanimate objects. Refuses to go near women when they\u2019re on their periods.<\/span><\/p>\n

Edmund Burke – 2\/10<\/b>. Absolutely not. He looks like a baby with my grandma\u2019s haircut. <\/span><\/p>\n

Emmanuel Joseph Siey\u00e8s – 8\/10<\/b>.\u00a0 This dude could instigate my revolution if he wanted to. Standards are incredibly low, but we\u2019re not in a place to be picky with this line up. This man found the g-spot and got the closest of any of our pasty white men to bringing a woman to climax, but, unfortunately failed in the end because alas\u2026he is a man who believes his opinions are important. And there\u2019s no bigger turn off.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam Smith – 5\/10. <\/b>No, you and your friends cannot divide up the labor necessary to pleasure me. An invisible hand is not going to bring me to my \u201cnatural equilibrium.\u201d Points for being Scottish, though.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, I\u2019ve finished, which is something I would not be able to say had I engaged in sexual intercourse with any of these men. Thank you, University of Chicago, for exposing students to so many white men who will never successfully interact with a vagina, both in our readings and everyday life. The lessons you\u2019ve granted us are invaluable. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“My vagina is not the Leviathan; stop trying to take up the sword against my clitoris. Trust me, that\u2019s not how you do it.\u00a0“<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":425,"featured_media":5568,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5565","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/425"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5565"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5565\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5569,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5565\/revisions\/5569"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5568"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}