As the full moon emerged last Thursday evening, economics professor Allen R. Sanderson was seen declaring himself a sociologist on the quad \u2014 performing \u201cexperiments in flouting social norms\u201d for no explicable reason.<\/p>\n
\u201cI saw him splashing around in that fountain outside Reynolds,\u201d said one second-year. \u201cHe was in there for a good twenty minutes shouting about how \u2018neoliberal late capitalism\u2019 is just \u2018the applied theory of bossing people around,\u2019\u201d followed by \u201ca bunch of random sentences cribbed verbatim from Durkheim.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before long, Sanderson\u2019s unusual behavior had spread to several members of the UChicago community. \u201cI went down to the A-Level to finish a proof,\u201d said mathematics major Ophelia Grade-Dropp. \u201cSanderson was sitting there in a Che Guevara T-shirt, reading J\u00fcrgen Habermas with a group of econ bros.\u201d The discussion in question was the inaugural meeting of the College\u2019s newest RSO: the Allen R. Sanderson Colloquium on Communicative Rationality and Sports. Several members, however, found the event disappointing. According to one attendee, \u201che spent the first hour talking about his bold new theory that \u2018different cultures value different things.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Nevertheless, Professor Sanderson\u2019s job security remains completely intact. \u201cLook, Allen\u2019s methods are controversial, but you can\u2019t deny he\u2019s a damn good lecturer,\u201d said Marge Innalcost, chair of the economics department. \u201cHe\u2019s really, really good at teaching students the essential skill of putting up with economists. That means we have to tolerate some things, whether it\u2019s the occasional off-color comment, this whole \u2018sociologist by night\u2019 thing, or even that weird bust of himself he keeps in his office to make out with.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sanderson was last seen chasing Dean Ellison down 55th Street, after rumors that the latter had morphed into a proponent of occasionally moderated speech.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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