{"id":5199,"date":"2021-10-24T12:30:07","date_gmt":"2021-10-24T17:30:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=5199"},"modified":"2022-07-25T03:04:12","modified_gmt":"2022-07-25T08:04:12","slug":"visiting-parents-worried-about-the-cost-of-three-weddings-after-seeing-son-talk-to-three-girls-in-his-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2021\/10\/24\/visiting-parents-worried-about-the-cost-of-three-weddings-after-seeing-son-talk-to-three-girls-in-his-house\/","title":{"rendered":"Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House"},"content":{"rendered":"

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy\u2019s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated when they watched him engage in conversation with three women over the course of Parents\u2019 Weekend.<\/span><\/p>\n

Timothy was seen confidently saying \u201cHi\u201d to Sally Jenkins in the hallways of Renee Granville-Grossman on Saturday October, 23, before causing her to giggle as he referenced how much work he has this weekend. Timothy was then spotted this morning telling Ella Hill the readings for HUMA in Cathey Dining Hall. Her roommate, Martha Stuart, stood by as they talked. All three women are first-years and members of Halperin House.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis just throws a total curveball to all of our prior financial planning,\u201d Mr. Trout said, after seeing first-year Timothy interact with the women. \u201cI\u2019m not sure how we\u2019ll land on our feet.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In spite of their new financial difficulties, Mrs. Trout seems to have found some excitement in Timothy\u2019s budding relationships with three female counterparts. She relished the effect he seemed to have on coeds, saying: \u201cI always knew Timmy was outgoing, but I never would\u2019ve imagined the primal, magnetic, sexual energy my son could exert on the women of the UChicago community. He\u2019s like the modern-day David Cassidy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

When reached for comment about her future matrimonial commitments to Timothy, Ms. Hill expressed confusion. \u201cWho\u2019s Timmy?\u201d asked Hill, whose name now graces a save-the-date Mrs. Trout just evited to close friends and relatives. Her roommate Ms. Stuart cut in: \u201cHe\u2019s the guy from Media Aesthetics you asked about the readings this morning.\u201d \u201cOh,\u201d Hill replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ms. Jenkins, meanwhile, was less bashful in expressing her feelings toward Timothy. \u201cTimmy! I love Timmy! He\u2019s like my favorite guy here,\u201d she said. \u201cI hope we have a class together next quarter so we can actually talk outside House Meetings.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After hearing their enthusiasm, Mrs. Trout added, \u201cSeeing how those girls waved to my son and laughed at his jokes about UChicago that weren\u2019t funny, I could tell that they were lusting for him.\u201d She smiled wistfully as she continued: \u201cI could tell from the titillating glee in their six youthful eyes that my son was satiating them in a way I haven\u2019t known since our honeymoon in 1993 [to Oslo].\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. Trout, at least momentarily, seemed less pleased with the situation than his wife. \u201cWhat are the options?\u201d he asked. \u201cWe\u2019ve already refinanced our house. I mean can you re-refinance a house? Is that even a thing? What do we own that could be used as collateral?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After Timothy briefly introduced them to Jenkins, Mr. and Mrs. Trout began mulling over whether it was worth fabricating an application to graduate school on Timmy\u2019s behalf simply to take out a loan for the weddings at better interest. As they Ubered away, however, Mr. and Mrs. Trout were seen together moaning \u201cOh God\u201d as they noticed Timothy talking to a male peer, wondering what that relationship could possibly mean.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy\u2019s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated when they watched him engage in conversation with three women over the course of Parents\u2019 Weekend. Timothy was seen confidently saying \u201cHi\u201d to Sally Jenkins in the hallways of Renee Granville-Grossman on Saturday October, 23, before causing her to giggle as he referenced how much work he has this weekend. Timothy was then spotted this morning telling Ella Hill the readings for HUMA in Cathey Dining Hall. Her roommate, Martha Stuart, stood by as they talked. All three women are first-years and members of Halperin House. \u201cThis just throws a total curveball to all of our prior financial planning,\u201d Mr. Trout said, after seeing first-year Timothy interact with the women. \u201cI\u2019m not sure how we\u2019ll land on our feet.\u201d\u00a0 In spite of their new financial difficulties, Mrs. Trout seems to have found some excitement in Timothy\u2019s budding relationships with three female counterparts. She relished the effect he seemed to have on coeds, saying: \u201cI always knew Timmy was outgoing, but I never would\u2019ve imagined the primal, magnetic, sexual energy my son could exert on the women of the UChicago community. He\u2019s like the modern-day David Cassidy.\u201d When reached for comment about her future matrimonial commitments to Timothy, Ms. Hill expressed confusion. \u201cWho\u2019s Timmy?\u201d asked Hill, whose name now graces a save-the-date Mrs. Trout just evited to close friends and relatives. Her roommate Ms. Stuart cut in: \u201cHe\u2019s the guy from Media Aesthetics you asked about the readings this morning.\u201d \u201cOh,\u201d Hill replied. Ms. Jenkins, meanwhile, was less bashful in expressing her feelings toward Timothy. \u201cTimmy! I love Timmy! He\u2019s like my favorite guy here,\u201d she said. \u201cI hope we have a class together next quarter so we can actually talk outside House Meetings.\u201d After hearing their enthusiasm, Mrs. Trout added, \u201cSeeing how those girls waved to my son and laughed at his jokes about UChicago that weren\u2019t funny, I could tell that they were lusting for him.\u201d She smiled wistfully as she continued: \u201cI could tell from the titillating glee in their six youthful eyes that my son was satiating them in a way I haven\u2019t known since our honeymoon in 1993 [to Oslo].\u201d Mr. Trout, at least momentarily, seemed less pleased with the situation than his wife. \u201cWhat are the options?\u201d he asked. \u201cWe\u2019ve already refinanced our house. I mean can you re-refinance a house? Is that even a thing? What do we own that could be used as collateral?\u201d After Timothy briefly introduced them to Jenkins, Mr. and Mrs. Trout began mulling over whether it was worth fabricating an application to graduate school on Timmy\u2019s behalf simply to take out a loan for the weddings at better interest. As they Ubered away, however, Mr. and Mrs. Trout were seen together moaning \u201cOh God\u201d as they noticed Timothy talking to a male peer, wondering what that relationship could possibly mean.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":5201,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-komono","category-favorites"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5199","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5199"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5457,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5199\/revisions\/5457"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}