{"id":4983,"date":"2021-04-12T11:34:10","date_gmt":"2021-04-12T16:34:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=4983"},"modified":"2022-11-01T13:00:37","modified_gmt":"2022-11-01T18:00:37","slug":"michele-rasmussen-declares-that-frat-parties-are-not-poggers-in-attempt-to-connect-with-youth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/12\/michele-rasmussen-declares-that-frat-parties-are-not-poggers-in-attempt-to-connect-with-youth\/","title":{"rendered":"Michele Rasmussen Declares That Frat Parties Are \u201cNot Poggers\u201d in Attempt to Connect with Youth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Michele Rasmussen, in a <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">strange<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> yet brave attempt to quell the spread of COVID-19, released a statement today declaring that frat parties were indeed \u201cnot poggers.\u201d When asked for a statement, Dean Rasmussen replied \u201cI firmly believe that students will \u201cKEKW\u201d more if they stay in the dorms and follow protocol. It will most certainly be \u201cOMEGALUL\u201d if we can all comply with these guidelines. Many students have been \u201cjabaited\u201d and have forgotten the health pact that they agreed to, and it is crucial that we, as a community, join together and press F to pay respects to the well-being of our community.\u201d The Dealer is <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">baffled at this strange move<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, happy that they are taking initiative, <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and one can only begin to guess where Dean Rasmussen learned how to talk like this<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It seems the administration <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">is getting truly desperate, and<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is willing to try anything to stop the spread of COVID-19 and help our community.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When asked about what they thought of this statement, a student* said that Dean Rasmussen was \u201cclearly one of the homeslices\u201d and that they \u201cfelt motivated to comply with all these guidelines, because following rules is cool!\u201d Only time will tell if the rest of the student body also understands how cool staying safe and following protocol is. ** On an unrelated note, <\/span><b>the basement of Cobb<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> sure is a cool place to hang out!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">*A member of the administration that chose to go by the name \u201cstudent\u201d for the purposes of this article.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">**They are forcing me to write this. Please help. It\u2019s been 3 days, they only give me saltines to eat.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Michele Rasmussen, in a strange yet brave attempt to quell the spread of COVID-19, released a statement today declaring that frat parties were indeed \u201cnot poggers.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":902,"featured_media":4986,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/902"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4983"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4983\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5717,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4983\/revisions\/5717"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4986"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}