CAMBRIDGE, Mass. \u2014 Several irate Patriots fans, livid after the appearance of Tom Brady in a Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniform at Super Bowl LV, have retracted their standing offers to perform oral sex on the quarterback at a time and place of his choosing.<\/p>\n
Patriots season ticket holder Patrick O\u2019Connor expressed his outrage at Brady\u2019s leaving him high and dry \u2014 especially dry. \u201cBrady was the GOAT, man. I totally would\u2019ve peeled off his sweaty jock straps and [expletive deleted] him with a [several expletives deleted] in the [minutes of expletives deleted].\u201d<\/p>\n
Several die-hard Boston fans are in the same boat. \u201cAt a certain point, I would have done everything for the guy,\u201d said Johnny Flaherty, \u201cbut as far as I\u2019m concerned he\u2019s dead to me now.\u201d Added Tony D\u2019Annunzio, \u201cWhen I said I\u2019d service him \u2018any time, anywhere,\u2019 that was before he betrayed us, you know? Now I\u2019m probably just good for some light foreplay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Loads of Boston fans (ahem) are in agreement with Tony. As Tony Staglioni said, \u201cIf Brady comes back to Boston and thinks he\u2019s getting anything more than hand stuff, then he\u2019s more crazy than my \u2018ma.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Tony\u2019s right,\u201d said Tony Napolatoni. \u201cLove dies hard. Today, I\u2019ll happily give Brady, the greatest man in the world, a very disappointing handjob \u2014 but nothing more. I repeat, nothing more.\u201d The rest of Boston seemed to be in total agreement.<\/p>\n
The Chicago Shady Dealer<\/em> has no such qualms \u2014 or any qualms at all, in general, really. While we may not be fans of Tom Brady\u2019s football career, or of Boston, the man\u2019s an American hero, and any of us would be hard-pressed to reject the opportunity to toss around his pigskin and deflate his balls.<\/p>\n We reiterate, the Dealer<\/em> has no such qualms.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Several irate Patriots fans, livid after the appearance of Tom Brady in a Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniform at Super Bowl LV, have retracted their standing offers to perform oral sex on the quarterback at a time and place of his choosing: \u201cIf Brady comes back to Boston and thinks he\u2019s getting anything more than hand stuff, then he\u2019s more crazy than my \u2018ma.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4717,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4714"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4714\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4734,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4714\/revisions\/4734"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}