{"id":4490,"date":"2020-11-03T16:00:23","date_gmt":"2020-11-03T22:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=4490"},"modified":"2020-11-03T20:16:57","modified_gmt":"2020-11-04T02:16:57","slug":"have-you-voted-yet-you-fucking-bastards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2020\/11\/03\/have-you-voted-yet-you-fucking-bastards\/","title":{"rendered":"Have You Voted Yet, You Fucking Bastards?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You miscreants, you fucking econ majors \u2014 you haven\u2019t fucking voted yet, have you. I bet you dick-breathed, ass-brained nut-rags haven\u2019t even looked up your polling places. You disgust me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The world is falling apart and you scum sucking mouth breathers can\u2019t be bothered to fill in a scantron. You\u2019re the reason democracy is dying, you six-toed, spineless enlightened centrist. Mutual respect is not gonna dig us out of this dumpster-truck ass of a hole we\u2019re in, you clown-nosed freak \u2014 you need to go outside, stand in a line, and vote. You think millions of people died in trenches so you could do your little protest with no vote? Are the fates of hundreds of millions of lives not enough to get off your flat ass? It has literally never been easier to participate in the old man contest, you buck-toothed bitch. They could have mailed your scantron to your door with instructions that even your two neurons could have understood, and you still wouldn&#8217;t have done it. So now you have one day left to do the most basic civic duty expected of a nation\u2019s citizens, and it\u2019s still not a given that you\u2019ll go, you shriveled urethra.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, you\u2019re just gonna jack off and retweet something vaguely political or share a pastel-background Instagram story about some shit you pretend to care about to seem like you aren\u2019t the enormous ass that you are. I bet you shit all over your toilet seat and don\u2019t clean it up. You couldn\u2019t be more of a plastic bag if you tried. So get up, get dressed (probably for the first time this week), and go fill in some chud\u2019s name so that I can go to the fucking doctor the next time I\u2019m sick, you fucking cyst.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You miscreants, you fucking econ majors &#8212;\u00a0 you haven\u2019t fucking voted yet have you. I bet you dick breathed, ass brained nut-rags haven\u2019t even looked up your polling places. You disgust me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4494,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4490"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4490\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4522,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4490\/revisions\/4522"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}