{"id":4447,"date":"2020-11-05T12:31:08","date_gmt":"2020-11-05T05:31:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=4447"},"modified":"2020-11-01T09:32:55","modified_gmt":"2020-11-01T02:32:55","slug":"in-bid-for-respectability-theta-becomes-cult","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2020\/11\/05\/in-bid-for-respectability-theta-becomes-cult\/","title":{"rendered":"In Bid for Respectability, Theta Becomes Cult"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Following years of racism and discrimination, this UChicago sorority is shaking things up. In their most recent grab for respectability, Kappa Alpha Theta has decided on a bold new direction for their sisterhood: worship to the Great God Cthuhlu.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;It&#8217;s been, like, really great to set an example for diversity and religious freedom,&#8221; says a second-year sister, now going by the name H\u0337\u035d\u031b\u0320\u032eh\u0334\u0344\u0360\u0345\u032do\u0334\u0352\u0359\u0317u\u0338\u030d\u0349b\u0336\u035b\u0358\u0329&#8217;\u0334\u031b\u0346\u032dv\u0337\u0314\u034b\u0356\u0319h\u0335\u030f\u0310\u033b\u035ae\u0335\u033f\u0343\u0349\u0319g\u0336\u031a\u033a \u0335\u0344\u032ct\u0337\u0309\u0327\u0353h\u0334\u0311\u0315\u0321e\u0338\u0341\u0346\u0345 \u0334\u030e\u032aU\u0336\u034a\u0333\u033cn\u0338\u030c\u0345w\u0337\u030f\u0312\u0348i\u0336\u031b\u030f\u0317\u0355e\u0335\u0306\u0324l\u0337\u0312\u0360\u0325\u0329d\u0334\u033f\u0323y\u0337\u030f\u0341\u032c, &#8220;Nothing says freedom of speech and the Chicago Principles like our newly formed hive mind.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When asked about recruitment, the Collective Consciousness of the Executive Board offered comment. &#8220;We totally need to spend this quarter to be a transition period, reflecting upon our relationship with The Great Old One, the Sleeper of R&#8217;lyeh. The Collective decided that Continuous Open Bidding wasn&#8217;t what was needed right now, but we look forward to proselytizing next quarter!&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Theta&#8217;s Master of Rituals, a fourth year who claimed that names were transient labels used to summon worthless vehicles of flesh, says that prospective sisters should invest in designer-brand hooded cloaks, human sacrifice, and socially-distant ragers to hasten the return of The Great Old Ones.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;Someday, the Elders will return to their rightful place with this earth in their grasp, destroying all in their wake,&#8221; commented A\u0336\u0343\u031f\u0319e\u0338\u035d\u0339s\u0334\u030c\u0303\u033a\u0330h\u0336\u0311\u0354\u0323l\u0335\u031b\u031a\u035a\u032be\u0336\u0314\u0331i\u0336\u031b\u032eg\u0338\u0357\u0345\u031eh\u0338\u0341\u032f\u0332i\u0336\u031b\u034c\u034d\u0353t\u0336\u0308\u0343\u032c\u0348h\u0336\u0352\u034e\u0332, a student with no discernable tie to the university and who appears to lack discernable facial features, &#8220;but until then, why not party?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Following years of racism and discrimination, this UChicago sorority is shaking things up. In their most recent grab for respectability, Kappa Alpha Theta has decided on a bold new direction for their sisterhood: worship to the Great God Cthuhlu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4449,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4447"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4447\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4449"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}