{"id":4332,"date":"2020-10-04T10:28:27","date_gmt":"2020-10-04T03:28:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=4332"},"modified":"2020-10-04T21:33:22","modified_gmt":"2020-10-04T14:33:22","slug":"overachiever-who-watches-all-orientation-materials-becomes-god-emperor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/04\/overachiever-who-watches-all-orientation-materials-becomes-god-emperor\/","title":{"rendered":"Overachiever Who Watches All Orientation Materials Becomes God Emperor"},"content":{"rendered":"

In yet another turn of events during an already untraditional O-Week, one first year who actually watched all the orientation videos is now inundated with so much knowledge that he has become a god emperor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis might sound bad haha, but I always kinda knew I was better than everyone else, I guess?\u201d says Nathan Fillerstein, who now can move things with his mind, in a display of power many have likened to \u201cthat one motherfucker from the X-Men.\u201d Fillerstein started with the modules and is now doing a deep dive into the introduction videos to the various UChicago graduate schools. \u201cI just like learning,\u201d said Fillerstein, sipping his oat milk latte while the weather changed based on his mood. \u201cI guess other people just aren\u2019t like that.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fellow students are in awe of Fillerstein\u2019s vast knowledge and likely large penis. \u201cThe whole god emperor thing is cool, and hail Fillerstein and all that,\u201d said fellow first-year Amy Richards. \u201cBut for me, the really impressive thing is that he just watched all of the orientation videos. Because, like, I was really curious about how long it took Saieh Hall to be built, so I\u2019m grateful Nathan took it upon himself to tell me unprovoked.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When asked if the College knew about the effects of finishing all the orientation material, Dean Boyer replied with a surprising yes. \u201cWell, we knew about it in theory. But we never actually expected anyone from UChicago to get through all of that information. To be honest, we expected it to be a Harvard student or something.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As of now, Fillerstein has not used his powers that much, choosing instead to spend his time asking various people if they know how Maroon Dollars work.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In yet another turn of events during an already untraditional O-Week, one first year who actually watched all the orientation videos is now inundated with so much knowledge that he has become a god emperor.\u00a0   \u201cThis might sound bad haha, but I always kinda knew I was better than everyone else, I guess?\u201d says Nathan Fillerstein, who now can move things with his mind, in a display of power many have likened to \u201cthat one motherfucker from the X-Men.\u201d Fillerstein started with the modules and is now doing a deep dive into the introduction videos to the various UChicago graduate schools. \u201cI just like learning,\u201d said Fillerstein, sipping his oat milk latte while the weather changed based on his mood. \u201cI guess other people just aren\u2019t like that.\u201d\u00a0   Fellow students are in awe of Fillerstein\u2019s vast knowledge and likely large penis. \u201cThe whole god emperor thing is cool, and hail Fillerstein and all that,\u201d said fellow first-year Amy Richards. \u201cBut for me, the really impressive thing is that he just watched all of the orientation videos. Because, like, I was really curious about how long it took Saieh Hall to be built, so I\u2019m grateful Nathan took it upon himself to tell me unprovoked.\u201d\u00a0   When asked if the College knew about the effects of finishing all the orientation material, Dean Boyer replied with a surprising yes. \u201cWell, we knew about it in theory. But we never actually expected anyone from UChicago to get through all of that information. To be honest, we expected it to be a Harvard student or something.\u201d\u00a0   As of now, Fillerstein has not used his powers that much, choosing instead to spend his time asking various people if they know how Maroon Dollars work.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":254,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/254"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}