{"id":4324,"date":"2020-10-03T01:11:02","date_gmt":"2020-10-02T18:11:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=4324"},"modified":"2020-10-03T01:11:02","modified_gmt":"2020-10-02T18:11:02","slug":"coronavirus-isnt-a-big-deal-itll-be-gone-by-easter-ill-be-right-eventually-it-is-what-it-is-trump-contracts-coronavirus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/03\/coronavirus-isnt-a-big-deal-itll-be-gone-by-easter-ill-be-right-eventually-it-is-what-it-is-trump-contracts-coronavirus\/","title":{"rendered":"Coronavirus isn’t a big deal, it\u2019ll be gone by Easter, I\u2019ll be right eventually, it is what it is; Trump Contracts Coronavirus"},"content":{"rendered":"

From the bottom of our hearts, we, the Editorial Staff at the<\/span> Chicago Shady Dealer<\/span><\/i>, have only this to say: wow, what a BORE this year has been. Truly, how uneventful. It started with a no-big-deal-minor-virus popping up in a little country called China, leading our President to rightfully assure us that it was all <\/span>going to be just fine<\/span><\/a> and that it was definitely <\/span>going to disappear<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With that, we calmly dozed our way through Winter; come March, we were all pretty sure it was going to be just fine, like it always had been, and that the virus that had already disappeared was going to disappear again, just in time for everyone\u2019s favorite rabbit-and-crucifixion holiday, <\/span>Easter<\/span><\/a>. Well Easter came and went and we were as calm as ever, because we were just fine! And why wouldn\u2019t we be? It\u2019s EASTER!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, we <\/span>prevailed<\/span><\/a> and got rid of the virus \u2014\u00a0 which is good, because summer was just around the corner, and after doing all that prevailing we all deserved a nice, fun break where we could enjoy the sun, bleach, and hydroxychloroquine while waiting for the virus to <\/span>fade away<\/span><\/a> \u2014\u00a0 not that it hadn\u2019t faded away in the past-tense. While we were obviously right to say that the virus would go away, we were wrong in that \u2014 while getting better \u2014 the problem got worse and cases went up which\u00a0 \u2014 we\u2019re told\u00a0 \u2014 is the opposite of down. But logic says that we\u2019ll be \u201c<\/span>right eventually<\/span><\/a>, so even though we were wrong, in the future we\u2019ll be right so why not just skip ahead to when that\u2019s the case. Anyways, after getting over our relationship with\u00a0 <\/span>the WHO<\/span><\/a> like a bad cold \u2014 sorry, habit \u2014 summer was drawing to a close and fall was fast approaching.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With the end of summer came the end of the disappearing virus, which had faded, disappeared, and been prevailed so hard it just decided to go away. It would have been nice to have had a more memorable summer, one that we could look back on fondly years later as we reminisce with old friends about the heyday of our youth, and that time 200,000+ people died.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But it is what it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We\u2019d <\/span>rounded the final turn<\/span><\/a>, and as the leaves started to fall and the air got a little colder, we headed back indoors to spend some good old-fashioned quality time with our friends, but without the masks now, you know? I mean, we do put on masks every time we think we need them, but not every time we see each other, not with the <\/span>biggest mask<\/span><\/a> we\u2019ve ever seen. There\u2019s nothing like the chilly fall air, am I right? It\u2019s the small pleasures in life you want to hold onto, things like breathing; especially after we\u2019d prevailed the shit out of that allergy or whatever.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, and then Trump contracted Coronavirus. Man, what a boring year.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the bottom of our hearts, we, the Editorial Staff at the Chicago Shady Dealer, have only this to say: wow, what a BORE this year has been. Truly, how uneventful. It started with a no-big-deal-minor-virus popping up in a little country called China, leading our President to rightfully assure us that it was all going to be just fine and that it was definitely going to disappear.\u00a0 With that, we calmly dozed our way through Winter; come March, we were all pretty sure it was going to be just fine, like it always had been, and that the virus that had already disappeared was going to disappear again, just in time for everyone\u2019s favorite rabbit-and-crucifixion holiday, Easter. Well Easter came and went and we were as calm as ever, because we were just fine! And why wouldn\u2019t we be? It\u2019s EASTER!\u00a0 Eventually, we prevailed and got rid of the virus \u2014\u00a0 which is good, because summer was just around the corner, and after doing all that prevailing we all deserved a nice, fun break where we could enjoy the sun, bleach, and hydroxychloroquine while waiting for the virus to fade away \u2014\u00a0 not that it hadn\u2019t faded away in the past-tense. While we were obviously right to say that the virus would go away, we were wrong in that \u2014 while getting better \u2014 the problem got worse and cases went up which\u00a0 \u2014 we\u2019re told\u00a0 \u2014 is the opposite of down. But logic says that we\u2019ll be \u201cright eventually, so even though we were wrong, in the future we\u2019ll be right so why not just skip ahead to when that\u2019s the case. Anyways, after getting over our relationship with\u00a0 the WHO like a bad cold \u2014 sorry, habit \u2014 summer was drawing to a close and fall was fast approaching.\u00a0 With the end of summer came the end of the disappearing virus, which had faded, disappeared, and been prevailed so hard it just decided to go away. It would have been nice to have had a more memorable summer, one that we could look back on fondly years later as we reminisce with old friends about the heyday of our youth, and that time 200,000+ people died.\u00a0   But it is what it is.   We\u2019d rounded the final turn, and as the leaves started to fall and the air got a little colder, we headed back indoors to spend some good old-fashioned quality time with our friends, but without the masks now, you know? I mean, we do put on masks every time we think we need them, but not every time we see each other, not with the biggest mask we\u2019ve ever seen. There\u2019s nothing like the chilly fall air, am I right? It\u2019s the small pleasures in life you want to hold onto, things like breathing; especially after we\u2019d prevailed the shit out of that allergy or whatever.\u00a0 Oh, and then Trump contracted Coronavirus. Man, what a boring year.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":4325,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4324"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4324\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4325"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}