{"id":4100,"date":"2020-09-20T07:14:59","date_gmt":"2020-09-20T00:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=4100"},"modified":"2020-09-28T20:27:22","modified_gmt":"2020-09-28T13:27:22","slug":"10-things-this-ominous-timer-could-be-counting-down-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2020\/09\/20\/10-things-this-ominous-timer-could-be-counting-down-to\/","title":{"rendered":"13 Things This Ominous Timer Could Be Counting Down To"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\n<style>\r\n      #ctdn{margin:auto; width: 60%; user-select: none;}\r\n      #ctdn tr, #ctdn th, #ctdn td{border: none;}\r\n      #ctdn th{font-size: 60px;  text-align: center;}\r\n      #ctdn td{font-size: 24px;  text-align: center;}\r\n      #ctdn th:nth-child(odd), #ctdn td:nth-child(odd){width: 100px}\r\n      #ctdn th:nth-child(even), #ctdn td:nth-child(even){width: 20px}\r\n    <\/style>\r\n    <script src=\"https:\/\/code.jquery.com\/jquery-3.5.1.min.js\"\r\n            integrity=\"sha256-9\/aliU8dGd2tb6OSsuzixeV4y\/faTqgFtohetphbbj0=\"\r\n            crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\r\n    <script>\r\n      let twoDigits=e=>e<10?\"0\"+e.toString():e.toString(),\r\n          q=(e,t)=>Math.floor(e\/t),\r\n          off=6e4*((new Date).getTimezoneOffset()-300),\r\n          update=()=>{\r\n            let e=new Date(new Date(2020,8,28,8).getTime()-off).getTime(),\r\n                t=(new Date).getTime();\r\n            if(e>t){\r\n              let i=e-t,\r\n                  d=q(i,864e5),\r\n                  h=q(i-864e5*d,36e5),\r\n                  m=q(i-864e5*d-36e5*h,6e4),\r\n                  s=q(i-864e5*d-36e5*h-6e4*m,1e3);\r\n              $(\"#d\").text(twoDigits(d)),\r\n              $(\"#h\").text(twoDigits(h)),\r\n              $(\"#m\").text(twoDigits(m)),\r\n              $(\"#secs\").text(twoDigits(s))\r\n            }else $(\"#ctdn th:nth-child(odd)\").text(\"00\")};\r\n      $(document).ready(()=>{update(),setInterval(update,1e3)});\r\n    <\/script>\n<\/p>\n<table id=\"ctdn\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<th id=\"d\">00<\/th>\n<th class=\"colon\">:<\/th>\n<th id=\"h\">00<\/th>\n<th class=\"colon\">:<\/th>\n<th id=\"m\">00<\/th>\n<th class=\"colon\">:<\/th>\n<th id=\"secs\">00<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>days<\/td>\n<td><\/td>\n<td>hrs<\/td>\n<td><\/td>\n<td>mins<\/td>\n<td><\/td>\n<td>secs<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ol style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">\n<li>\n<h6>The election (if you thought it was on Nov. 3, you\u2019re wrong, get to voting, dumbass)<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>Your parents\u2019 divorce<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>The next time you decide to get Chick-fil-A instead of making dinner again<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>Your parents\u2019 remarriage to other people<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>Plan B\u2019s going out of business sale<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>The ten-second window where it\u2019s safe to eat that avocado you bought in June<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>Your parents\u2019 remarriage to each other, and Doug<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>Pain locker<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>Next time you give up your principles and decide to order dish soap from Amazon<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>When another universally beloved celebrity dies<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>When Doug dies<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>That awkward call where your O-mance tells you you have COVID<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6>When you finally figure out <a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2020\/09\/28\/fuck-it-were-launching-a-data-journalism-site\/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">what lame thing this timer is actually about<\/a><\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>00 : 00 : 00 : 00 days hrs mins secs &nbsp; The election (if you thought it was on Nov. 3, you\u2019re wrong, get to voting, dumbass) Your parents\u2019 divorce The next time you decide to get Chick-fil-A instead of making dinner again Your parents\u2019 remarriage to other people Plan B\u2019s going out of business sale The ten-second window where it\u2019s safe to eat that avocado you bought in June Your parents\u2019 remarriage to each other, and Doug Pain locker Next time you give up your principles and decide to order dish soap from Amazon When another universally beloved celebrity dies When Doug dies That awkward call where your O-mance tells you you have COVID When you finally figure out what lame thing this timer is actually about<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4100"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4100"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4100\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4200,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4100\/revisions\/4200"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}