{"id":3900,"date":"2020-05-09T02:12:57","date_gmt":"2020-05-08T19:12:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=3900"},"modified":"2020-05-09T02:12:57","modified_gmt":"2020-05-08T19:12:57","slug":"you-dont-really-have-a-dairy-allergy-have-you-tried-meditation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2020\/05\/09\/you-dont-really-have-a-dairy-allergy-have-you-tried-meditation\/","title":{"rendered":"You don\u2019t really have a dairy allergy, have you tried meditation?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Come on sweetie, you don\u2019t look lactose intolerant! You&#8217;re not\u00a0<em>really\u00a0<\/em>lactose intolerant, you&#8217;re probably just faking so you get more bathroom breaks. Your poops are liquid? Like an old Philadelphia roll from Shinju, this too shall pass. Just let it go. Just lift your chin up, smile, and peel your ass off the toilet.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Don\u2019t take Lactaid, that changes the chemistry of your digestive system! You want to go see a gastroenterologist?\u00a0 Just snap out of it! Everyone struggles with gastrointestinal problems in their life, but you have to power through like everyone else! Do you think <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">you <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">have it bad? There are people out there who don\u2019t even have a colon! There are people who don\u2019t even have milk to drink. Can\u2019t you see how lucky you are! Have you tried meditation or eating more fiber? Maybe if you got off that damn phone you wouldn\u2019t have these issues.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Come on sweetie, you don\u2019t look lactose intolerant! You&#8217;re not\u00a0really\u00a0lactose intolerant, you&#8217;re probably just faking so you get more bathroom breaks. Your poops are liquid? Like an old Philadelphia roll from Shinju, this too shall pass. Just let it go. Just lift your chin up, smile, and peel your ass off the toilet.\u00a0 Don\u2019t take Lactaid, that changes the chemistry of your digestive system! You want to go see a gastroenterologist?\u00a0 Just snap out of it! Everyone struggles with gastrointestinal problems in their life, but you have to power through like everyone else! Do you think you have it bad? There are people out there who don\u2019t even have a colon! There are people who don\u2019t even have milk to drink. Can\u2019t you see how lucky you are! Have you tried meditation or eating more fiber? Maybe if you got off that damn phone you wouldn\u2019t have these issues. &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3900"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3900"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3900\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3900"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3900"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3900"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}