{"id":3698,"date":"2019-10-06T06:36:52","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T23:36:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=3698"},"modified":"2019-10-06T06:36:52","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T23:36:52","slug":"psa-pee-after-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2019\/10\/06\/psa-pee-after-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"PSA: PEE AFTER SEX"},"content":{"rendered":"

The start of college is a wonderful time of exploration and growth. For many, it\u2019s their first time to let loose. If you go here, you certainly didn\u2019t get invited to parties in high school. We know you\u2019ve heard it a million times before, but please be safe this O-week. We trust that y\u2019all know to always ask for informed consent and to wear condoms, but there\u2019s something your prestigious private high school\u2019s sex ed didn\u2019t teach you: PEE! AFTER! SEX!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Listen, I can\u2019t stress this enough. Your sexual health and wellness depends on this simple tip. Fucking pee after sex! It\u2019s that simple, you lil shit. You think your eighteen year old body is immune to the transfer of bacteria from intercourse? You think that you\u2019ll <\/span>never <\/span><\/i>be the one whose pee-pee burns when she has to tinkle because that\u2019s only for Slutty McSlutfaces. It\u2019s time for some tough love bombs, my beautiful sugar plum! The microbes wiggling into your urethra don\u2019t give two shits about how unpromiscuous you think you are. I\u2019m telling you this because I love you and because you\u2019re gonna piss blood if you aren\u2019t careful. Please, please, please pee after sex.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sis, we\u2019ve all been there. We\u2019ve all sat next to the door in lecture, clutching our cranberry juice like a cross. We\u2019ve all googled how many Azostat pills you can take before you die while sobbing in a pile of Ocean Spray from Bartmart. Take it from someone who is older and wiser: you gotta evacuate your bladder after you do the nasty, my majestic little munchkins. Love yourself, drink plenty of water, and PEE AFTER SEX.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hugs and kisses,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The start of college is a wonderful time of exploration and growth. For many, it\u2019s their first time to let loose. If you go here, you certainly didn\u2019t get invited to parties in high school. We know you\u2019ve heard it a million times before, but please be safe this O-week. We trust that y\u2019all know to always ask for informed consent and to wear condoms, but there\u2019s something your prestigious private high school\u2019s sex ed didn\u2019t teach you: PEE! AFTER! SEX!\u00a0 Listen, I can\u2019t stress this enough. Your sexual health and wellness depends on this simple tip. Fucking pee after sex! It\u2019s that simple, you lil shit. You think your eighteen year old body is immune to the transfer of bacteria from intercourse? You think that you\u2019ll never be the one whose pee-pee burns when she has to tinkle because that\u2019s only for Slutty McSlutfaces. It\u2019s time for some tough love bombs, my beautiful sugar plum! The microbes wiggling into your urethra don\u2019t give two shits about how unpromiscuous you think you are. I\u2019m telling you this because I love you and because you\u2019re gonna piss blood if you aren\u2019t careful. Please, please, please pee after sex.\u00a0 Sis, we\u2019ve all been there. We\u2019ve all sat next to the door in lecture, clutching our cranberry juice like a cross. We\u2019ve all googled how many Azostat pills you can take before you die while sobbing in a pile of Ocean Spray from Bartmart. Take it from someone who is older and wiser: you gotta evacuate your bladder after you do the nasty, my majestic little munchkins. Love yourself, drink plenty of water, and PEE AFTER SEX.\u00a0 Hugs and kisses,\u00a0  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3698","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3698"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3698\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}