{"id":3693,"date":"2019-10-06T06:04:09","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T23:04:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/?p=3693"},"modified":"2019-10-06T06:04:09","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T23:04:09","slug":"first-years-dad-going-out-his-way-to-introduce-himself-to-parents-of-future-exes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2019\/10\/06\/first-years-dad-going-out-his-way-to-introduce-himself-to-parents-of-future-exes\/","title":{"rendered":"First year\u2019s Dad going out his way to introduce himself to parents of future exes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chicago, IL-\u00a0 Amid the chaos and anxiety of move in day, local dad Steve Cooper remembered to make time for what was really important– that is, making sure to introduce himself to all the parents of students whom his son Brian would eventually disappoint sexually.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really proud of Brian and what he\u2019s accomplished, so sure, maybe I embarrass him a little,\u201c said Mr. Cooper. \u201dI just want to get to know the other parents, y\u2019know?\u201d he went on to add, \u201cI like to ask them about their kids, the usual stuff. Like where they went to school, what they want to study, and why Brian will never be enough for their child.\u201d said Mr. Cooper. \u201cAt the end of the interaction I always give them a long firm handshake and say something along the lines of \u2018gee, hopefully our kids get to make the beast with two backs amirite?\u2019 You know, manners.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

We caught up with two of these lucky parents, Tom and Sarah Gomez– whose daughter Emma lives down the hall from Brian — and asked them about how their move in was going. \u201cMove in has been great! Sarah and I are so proud of Emma, and after meeting some of the parents we realized she\u2019ll be surrounded by so many bright and intelligent kids! It\u2019s a shame that out of all of those promising catches she\u2019ll choose to hitch herself to Brian. The kid is a 4 on a good day,\u201c said Mr. Gomez. \u201c<\/span>I\u2019m glad we got the chance to meet Brian\u2019s dad, brag about our children, and introduce the kids to each other. I\u2019m sure that after that after Emma breaks Brian\u2019s shriveled up heart about a year from now we can all look back on this and have a big laugh,\u201d added Ms.Gomez. Emma, however, was much less enthused.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh god, it was so embarrassing. I was just trying to get some donuts at the parents\u2019 reception when I was motioned over to talk to some kid whom my parents clearly think I should sleep with and make awkward eye contact with for the next 4 years! I can make these decisions for myself, thank you very much! I\u2019m 18. I don\u2019t need my parents setting up lackluster booty calls for me anymore,\u201d explained Emma.<\/span><\/p>\n

Brian shared Emma\u2019s sentiments. \u201cI honestly don\u2019t understand my Dad sometimes. Why does he constantly introduce himself as \u2018Steve, Brian\u2019s dad\u2019? Why would they know my name is Brian, Dad? God, he\u2019s so embarrassing!\u201d yelled Brian, moments after his father had crossed campus to find and introduce Brian to the parents of the girl he will in a few years describe as \u201chis soulmate\u201d only to be left on read.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Chicago, IL-\u00a0 Amid the chaos and anxiety of move in day, local dad Steve Cooper remembered to make time for what was really important– that is, making sure to introduce himself to all the parents of students whom his son Brian would eventually disappoint sexually. \u201cI\u2019m really proud of Brian and what he\u2019s accomplished, so sure, maybe I embarrass him a little,\u201c said Mr. Cooper. \u201dI just want to get to know the other parents, y\u2019know?\u201d he went on to add, \u201cI like to ask them about their kids, the usual stuff. Like where they went to school, what they want to study, and why Brian will never be enough for their child.\u201d said Mr. Cooper. \u201cAt the end of the interaction I always give them a long firm handshake and say something along the lines of \u2018gee, hopefully our kids get to make the beast with two backs amirite?\u2019 You know, manners.\u201d We caught up with two of these lucky parents, Tom and Sarah Gomez– whose daughter Emma lives down the hall from Brian — and asked them about how their move in was going. \u201cMove in has been great! Sarah and I are so proud of Emma, and after meeting some of the parents we realized she\u2019ll be surrounded by so many bright and intelligent kids! It\u2019s a shame that out of all of those promising catches she\u2019ll choose to hitch herself to Brian. The kid is a 4 on a good day,\u201c said Mr. Gomez. \u201cI\u2019m glad we got the chance to meet Brian\u2019s dad, brag about our children, and introduce the kids to each other. I\u2019m sure that after that after Emma breaks Brian\u2019s shriveled up heart about a year from now we can all look back on this and have a big laugh,\u201d added Ms.Gomez. Emma, however, was much less enthused. \u201cOh god, it was so embarrassing. I was just trying to get some donuts at the parents\u2019 reception when I was motioned over to talk to some kid whom my parents clearly think I should sleep with and make awkward eye contact with for the next 4 years! I can make these decisions for myself, thank you very much! I\u2019m 18. I don\u2019t need my parents setting up lackluster booty calls for me anymore,\u201d explained Emma. Brian shared Emma\u2019s sentiments. \u201cI honestly don\u2019t understand my Dad sometimes. Why does he constantly introduce himself as \u2018Steve, Brian\u2019s dad\u2019? Why would they know my name is Brian, Dad? God, he\u2019s so embarrassing!\u201d yelled Brian, moments after his father had crossed campus to find and introduce Brian to the parents of the girl he will in a few years describe as \u201chis soulmate\u201d only to be left on read.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3693","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3693"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3693\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3693"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3693"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3693"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}