{"id":3474,"date":"2019-05-16T06:26:27","date_gmt":"2019-05-15T23:26:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/?p=3474"},"modified":"2019-05-16T06:26:27","modified_gmt":"2019-05-15T23:26:27","slug":"guide-laughs-nervously-as-sick-decrepit-fourth-year-passes-campus-tour-group","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2019\/05\/16\/guide-laughs-nervously-as-sick-decrepit-fourth-year-passes-campus-tour-group\/","title":{"rendered":"Guide Laughs Nervously as Sick, Decrepit Fourth Year Passes Campus Tour Group"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One campus tour was turned upside-down yesterday after Scott Madden, a second-year tour guide, passed through Hull Gate and moved his group of bright-eyed high school seniors in front of the Reg. All was well as he chattered about collaborative learning and the A-level&#8211;that was, until\u00a0<em>it\u00a0<\/em>appeared. Madden watched in horror as a pale apparition emerged from the Reg, coughing and muttering about his thesis. \u201cOh geez, and to think I was gonna make the \u2018where fun goes to\u00a0<em>thrive&#8217;\u00a0<\/em>joke,\u201d Madden commented. \u201cI don\u2019t think that any tour guide could come back from that one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The zealous parents faces distorted as fourth year Walt Wiseman pulled a pack of Marlboro menthols from his pocket and lit one, tearing down Zimmer\u2019s fa\u00e7ade of quirky fun and adequate counseling services in one swift smoke-break. Screaming warnings about the school has long proven ineffective, but Wiseman may have made a breakthrough in the field of torturing the Administration. When asked to make a comment, Wiseman took a long drag from his cigarette, sneered, and countered with, \u201cAre you wearing a wire?\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thrown off his game but still excruciatingly positive, Madden made a quick zinger about dorm flu, capping it off with a quick plug for Student Health (which he thinks is just\u00a0<em>so\u00a0<\/em>convenient). Stuck the landing, buddy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One campus tour was turned upside-down yesterday after Scott Madden, a second-year tour guide, passed through Hull Gate and moved his group of bright-eyed high school seniors in front of the Reg. All was well as he chattered about collaborative learning and the A-level&#8211;that was, until\u00a0it\u00a0appeared. Madden watched in horror as a pale apparition emerged from the Reg, coughing and muttering about his thesis. \u201cOh geez, and to think I was gonna make the \u2018where fun goes to\u00a0thrive&#8217;\u00a0joke,\u201d Madden commented. \u201cI don\u2019t think that any tour guide could come back from that one.\u201d The zealous parents faces distorted as fourth year Walt Wiseman pulled a pack of Marlboro menthols from his pocket and lit one, tearing down Zimmer\u2019s fa\u00e7ade of quirky fun and adequate counseling services in one swift smoke-break. Screaming warnings about the school has long proven ineffective, but Wiseman may have made a breakthrough in the field of torturing the Administration. When asked to make a comment, Wiseman took a long drag from his cigarette, sneered, and countered with, \u201cAre you wearing a wire?\u201d Thrown off his game but still excruciatingly positive, Madden made a quick zinger about dorm flu, capping it off with a quick plug for Student Health (which he thinks is just\u00a0so\u00a0convenient). Stuck the landing, buddy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-campus-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3474"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3474\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3522,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3474\/revisions\/3522"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}