Long recommended by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as a fuel for one\u2019s morning and a buffer from coffee acidity, breakfast is a very important meal. However, according to new research, the recommended daily value of nostalgia for adults can be up to 60% less than necessary. Today, FDA spokesman Ainsley Krieger recommended eating dinosaur egg oatmeal regularly to help combat this gaping void.<\/p>\n
\u201cMany breakfast cereals are just like Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin & Hobbes<\/em>, but real,\u201d said Krieger. \u201cDinosaur egg oatmeal has the same amount of sugar, don\u2019t get me wrong, but who doesn\u2019t want to wake up by thinking about the old times? I just wanna be a three-year-old kicking a soccer ball in my backyard, with two trees as the goals, and my parents letting me win so I feel like the toddler version of Messi.\u201d<\/p>\n Krieger continued discussing the joys of childhood naivet\u00e9 before complaining of the burdens of being an adult. During one of his many tangents, he spent four minutes solely on the irony of his hatred of taxes, which fully pay for his salary. He then expressed excitement at finding a green Stegosaurus\u00a0<\/em>because it \u201ctastes the best.\u201d After cognitively regrouping, Krieger then pulled a bowl of oatmeal from his pants to drive home the main point (how his pockets were not drenched is still unknown) and began eating it, continuing between mouthfuls as oatmeal periodically dribbled from his mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cHelping America get healthier and supporting America\u2019s breadbasket? It\u2019s a win-win,” said Krieger around mouthfuls of oats.<\/p>\n “The FDA is working, uh\u2026 on, oh, \u2018with,\u2019 that says \u2013 with the Department of Agriculture to ensure our farmers can meet \u2013 uh\u2026 demand,\u201d Krieger stuttered as he motioned for a paper towel to clean some mouth spillage off his prepared remarks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Long recommended by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as a fuel for one\u2019s morning and a buffer from coffee acidity, breakfast is a very important meal. However, according to new research, the recommended daily value of nostalgia for adults can be up to 60% less than necessary. Today, FDA spokesman Ainsley Krieger recommended eating dinosaur egg oatmeal regularly to help combat this gaping void. \u201cMany breakfast cereals are just like Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin & Hobbes, but real,\u201d said Krieger. \u201cDinosaur egg oatmeal has the same amount of sugar, don\u2019t get me wrong, but who doesn\u2019t want to wake up by thinking about the old times? I just wanna be a three-year-old kicking a soccer ball in my backyard, with two trees as the goals, and my parents letting me win so I feel like the toddler version of Messi.\u201d Krieger continued discussing the joys of childhood naivet\u00e9 before complaining of the burdens of being an adult. During one of his many tangents, he spent four minutes solely on the irony of his hatred of taxes, which fully pay for his salary. He then expressed excitement at finding a green Stegosaurus\u00a0because it \u201ctastes the best.\u201d After cognitively regrouping, Krieger then pulled a bowl of oatmeal from his pants to drive home the main point (how his pockets were not drenched is still unknown) and began eating it, continuing between mouthfuls as oatmeal periodically dribbled from his mouth. \u201cHelping America get healthier and supporting America\u2019s breadbasket? It\u2019s a win-win,” said Krieger around mouthfuls of oats. “The FDA is working, uh\u2026 on, oh, \u2018with,\u2019 that says \u2013 with the Department of Agriculture to ensure our farmers can meet \u2013 uh\u2026 demand,\u201d Krieger stuttered as he motioned for a paper towel to clean some mouth spillage off his prepared remarks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3524,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3453","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3453"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3523,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3453\/revisions\/3523"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}