{"id":299,"date":"2019-02-06T16:16:13","date_gmt":"2019-02-06T09:16:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/?p=299"},"modified":"2019-02-26T05:17:38","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T22:17:38","slug":"dear-zorbak-what-do-i-do-with-his-slime-while-were-phylopotastisizing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2019\/02\/06\/dear-zorbak-what-do-i-do-with-his-slime-while-were-phylopotastisizing\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Zorbak: What Do I Do With His Slime While We’re Phylopotastisizing?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kaphid asks:<\/span><\/p>\n

Dear Zorbak, whenever me and my boyfriend are about to phylopotasticize, I get anxious that I\u2019m not doing enough with his slime. He sometimes asks me to put it in his spermatosac, but I\u2019m not ready for that yet. Is there anything else I can do to rock his thoraxoid?<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Thanks for inquiring, Kaphid. I get asked this a lot. Slime can be tricky: it\u2019s a magnetic, semi-ferro, non-tralaxian fluid that, if handled right, can induce powerful gorpacic seizing in your mate. If you\u2019re not willing to stick it in his spermatosac, that\u2019s fine. There are a lot of other ways to deal with his slime! <\/span><\/p>\n

One tried and true method is to lightly tingle his slime sphincters with your anterior mastireceptors. You\u2019ll want to get just below the titoscillogoggle and start vibrating around 100 mHz as you make your way up to his jossiliphore. If you really wanna make him squelch, then stick out your exigua and cover him in milk! That\u2019s sure to do the trick, and you don\u2019t have to get anywhere near his spermatosac. <\/span><\/p>\n

Something popular with the younger generation that\u2019s really catching wave is \u201chigh density molecular edging.\u201d This is a little more advanced, but you can work your way up to this. You\u2019ll have get him to enter parastasis. Once he\u2019s in that state and begins molting, you\u2019ll want to fuck his uvulox until he begins dematerializing. When he\u2019s just about to enter dimension X, pull out. He\u2019ll begin rematerializing, so start fucking again. You\u2019re gonna want to keep bringing him to the edge of dematerialization until he begs for you to let him go. Wow!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kaphid asks: Dear Zorbak, whenever me and my boyfriend are about to phylopotasticize, I get anxious that I\u2019m not doing enough with his slime. He sometimes asks me to put it in his spermatosac, but I\u2019m not ready for that yet. Is there anything else I can do to rock his thoraxoid? Thanks for inquiring, Kaphid. I get asked this a lot. Slime can be tricky: it\u2019s a magnetic, semi-ferro, non-tralaxian fluid that, if handled right, can induce powerful gorpacic seizing in your mate. If you\u2019re not willing to stick it in his spermatosac, that\u2019s fine. There are a lot of other ways to deal with his slime! One tried and true method is to lightly tingle his slime sphincters with your anterior mastireceptors. You\u2019ll want to get just below the titoscillogoggle and start vibrating around 100 mHz as you make your way up to his jossiliphore. If you really wanna make him squelch, then stick out your exigua and cover him in milk! That\u2019s sure to do the trick, and you don\u2019t have to get anywhere near his spermatosac. Something popular with the younger generation that\u2019s really catching wave is \u201chigh density molecular edging.\u201d This is a little more advanced, but you can work your way up to this. You\u2019ll have get him to enter parastasis. Once he\u2019s in that state and begins molting, you\u2019ll want to fuck his uvulox until he begins dematerializing. When he\u2019s just about to enter dimension X, pull out. He\u2019ll begin rematerializing, so start fucking again. You\u2019re gonna want to keep bringing him to the edge of dematerialization until he begs for you to let him go. Wow!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=299"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":320,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions\/320"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}