{"id":2379,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/romney-ryan-fan-fiction-hard-for-campaign-to-swallow\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T05:00:37","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T22:00:37","slug":"romney-ryan-fan-fiction-hard-for-campaign-to-swallow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/romney-ryan-fan-fiction-hard-for-campaign-to-swallow\/","title":{"rendered":"Romney\/Ryan Fan-Fiction Hard for Campaign to Swallow"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\" alt=\" \" \/><\/p>\n<h6>By <a href=\"\/search?author=Maya Handa\">Maya Handa<\/a><\/h6>\n<h6>Oct. 30, 2012<\/h6>\n<p>Presidential candidate Willard \u0093Mitt\u0094 Romney and running mate Paul \u0093Something Folksy\u0094 Ryan announced yesterday in a consensual press conference that they were deeply disturbed to have discovered online fan-fiction featuring them \u0093doing it gaily,\u0094 according to Ryan.<\/p>\n<p> \u0093There I was, partaking in wholesome activities such as Photoshopping my face onto Ronald Reagan\u0092s body and defending myself in the YouTube comments of Bruce Springsteen music videos, when I stumbled upon a page entitled \u0091Fifty States of Gay,\u0092\u0094 Romney said.<\/p>\n<p> Apparently thinking it was a compendium of the 50 Eskimo words meaning \u0093happy,\u0094 Romney followed the link, only to shudder at the passionate tale that met his eyes. \u0093I thought I had already fantasized about all the possible combinations of intercourse that Mr. Ryan and I could have,\u0094 Romney claimed breathlessly.<\/p>\n<p>Campaign spokesperson James Reed denied the possibility that the fan-fiction was based on true events: \u0093It\u0092s hard for Romney, as robotic as he is, to bend at the waist: the events portrayed are not within the realm of reason. Maybe if you really took the time lubricate his joints&#8230;.\u0094<\/p>\n<p> The rest of the press conference was notable for its solemnity, as Romney and Ryan exchanged meaningful glances after every statement about the fan-fiction.<\/p>\n<p> \u0093I am just deeply disappointed that the authors didn\u0092t even check their facts,\u0094 Ryan noted.  \u0093They failed to get even basic details correct\u0097Mitt\u0092s debate panties are purple with light purple stripes, not red<a><\/a>!\u0094<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Maya Handa Oct. 30, 2012 Presidential candidate Willard \u0093Mitt\u0094 Romney and running mate Paul \u0093Something Folksy\u0094 Ryan announced yesterday in a consensual press conference that they were deeply disturbed to have discovered online fan-fiction featuring them \u0093doing it gaily,\u0094 according to Ryan. \u0093There I was, partaking in wholesome activities such as Photoshopping my face onto Ronald Reagan\u0092s body and defending myself in the YouTube comments of Bruce Springsteen music videos, when I stumbled upon a page entitled \u0091Fifty States of Gay,\u0092\u0094 Romney said. Apparently thinking it was a compendium of the 50 Eskimo words meaning \u0093happy,\u0094 Romney followed the link, only to shudder at the passionate tale that met his eyes. \u0093I thought I had already fantasized about all the possible combinations of intercourse that Mr. Ryan and I could have,\u0094 Romney claimed breathlessly. Campaign spokesperson James Reed denied the possibility that the fan-fiction was based on true events: \u0093It\u0092s hard for Romney, as robotic as he is, to bend at the waist: the events portrayed are not within the realm of reason. Maybe if you really took the time lubricate his joints&#8230;.\u0094 The rest of the press conference was notable for its solemnity, as Romney and Ryan exchanged meaningful glances after every statement about the fan-fiction. \u0093I am just deeply disappointed that the authors didn\u0092t even check their facts,\u0094 Ryan noted. \u0093They failed to get even basic details correct\u0097Mitt\u0092s debate panties are purple with light purple stripes, not red!\u0094<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2379"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2379\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3412,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2379\/revisions\/3412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}