<\/p>\n
Considered startlingly reckless by his peers and superiors, UChicago first-year Raymond Santos has completely failed to secure a job or internship for every summer of his college career. Sources close to the student say he has not yet even had the customary four meetings with an advisor in Career Advancement, and that he remains naively oblivious to the fact that without sufficient planning, he will never acquire financial, political, or emotional success.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just trying to take my time and figure a few things out,\u201d said the future fry-cook of his inability to lay down the underpinnings of his life to societal satisfaction. \u201cRight now I feel like I still have time to look for something to do this summer. Maybe I\u2019ll get a part-time job or something.\u201d <\/p>\n
Administrators, faculty, and staff throughout the University roundly condemned Santos for his childish incompetence, citing general lack of foresight and \u201cweakness of character,\u201d in the words of one Resident Head, as the only possible causes for such ineptitude.<\/p>\n
\u201cSantos needs to understand that the time has long passed to explore options and consider possibilities\u201d said his Academic Advisor Max Davidson, who had already expressed deep concerns over the first-year\u2019s failure in September to provide a course plan for the next twelve quarters. \u201cIf he hasn\u2019t already figured out his life plan, there\u2019s little possibility that he will ever have a satisfactory career, let alone find love.\u201d<\/p>\n
Meanwhile administrators encourage first-year Joseph Velis, who has not yet declared a major, to just drop out and be homeless now to save everyone the trouble.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Daniel Betancourt Feb. 24, 2013 Considered startlingly reckless by his peers and superiors, UChicago first-year Raymond Santos has completely failed to secure a job or internship for every summer of his college career. Sources close to the student say he has not yet even had the customary four meetings with an advisor in Career Advancement, and that he remains naively oblivious to the fact that without sufficient planning, he will never acquire financial, political, or emotional success. \u201cI\u2019m just trying to take my time and figure a few things out,\u201d said the future fry-cook of his inability to lay down the underpinnings of his life to societal satisfaction. \u201cRight now I feel like I still have time to look for something to do this summer. Maybe I\u2019ll get a part-time job or something.\u201d Administrators, faculty, and staff throughout the University roundly condemned Santos for his childish incompetence, citing general lack of foresight and \u201cweakness of character,\u201d in the words of one Resident Head, as the only possible causes for such ineptitude. \u201cSantos needs to understand that the time has long passed to explore options and consider possibilities\u201d said his Academic Advisor Max Davidson, who had already expressed deep concerns over the first-year\u2019s failure in September to provide a course plan for the next twelve quarters. \u201cIf he hasn\u2019t already figured out his life plan, there\u2019s little possibility that he will ever have a satisfactory career, let alone find love.\u201d Meanwhile administrators encourage first-year Joseph Velis, who has not yet declared a major, to just drop out and be homeless now to save everyone the trouble.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2321"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3354,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321\/revisions\/3354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}