<\/p>\n
In breaking news, Robert Zimmer, President of the University, has announced that he is pregnant with twins. Zimmer\u2019s pregnancy came as a surprise \u2013 especially given the fact that he is outside the age range typically considered safe for childbearing. With the odds against him, Zimmer expressed delight at the unexpected news. \u201cIt\u2019s a miracle! I\u2019ve always wanted to have a baby!\u201d When asked about his previous three children, Zimmer replied, \u201cThey don\u2019t count.\u201d<\/p>\n
Zimmer revealed that his wife, Shadi Bartsch, with whom he has not had intimate relations in fifteen months, is not the father of the twins. Zimmer commented that “Shadi and I made the decision to use a donor together, given the risk associated with a man of my age bearing twins.” <\/p>\n
Shadi Bartsch is reported to have been shocked by the news of Zimmer\u2019s pregnancy. \u201cScience is certainly against us here,\u201d admitted Bartsch. \u201cBut we couldn’t be more excited and pleased with the miracle that Robby’s fertility specialist has managed. It’s really unusual to see a sixty-five year old bearing twins, but my husband is truly young at heart.\u201d she said, <\/p>\n
Zimmer\u2019s maternity style has drawn the attention of national media. Photos of the University President wearing a Hawaiian shirt and skinny jeans over a flower print dress surfaced on the Internet, later making the front page of the National Enquirer. \u201cZimmer is the new \u2018in\u2019 celebrity,\u201d remarked sociology professor Alan Davis, \u201cand it looks like he is edging out Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton in terms of popularity.\u201d<\/p>\n
Zimmer reported that his body has been responding well to the pregnancy, but registered a few complaints. \u201cI have to go to the bathroom like, all the time. And oh my God \u2013 I\u2019M SO HORMONAL! Ahhhhh!\u201d said Zimmer, who curled up on his couch and sobbed quietly to himself for half an hour while frantically kissing a rubber duck. <\/p>\n
The gender of the unborn twins remain unknown. A Zimmer spokesperson has announced that the twins will be named Stick and Reese\u2019s Peanut Butter Cup, regardless of gender.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Ben Boyajian April 25, 2013 In breaking news, Robert Zimmer, President of the University, has announced that he is pregnant with twins. Zimmer\u2019s pregnancy came as a surprise \u2013 especially given the fact that he is outside the age range typically considered safe for childbearing. With the odds against him, Zimmer expressed delight at the unexpected news. \u201cIt\u2019s a miracle! I\u2019ve always wanted to have a baby!\u201d When asked about his previous three children, Zimmer replied, \u201cThey don\u2019t count.\u201d Zimmer revealed that his wife, Shadi Bartsch, with whom he has not had intimate relations in fifteen months, is not the father of the twins. Zimmer commented that “Shadi and I made the decision to use a donor together, given the risk associated with a man of my age bearing twins.” Shadi Bartsch is reported to have been shocked by the news of Zimmer\u2019s pregnancy. \u201cScience is certainly against us here,\u201d admitted Bartsch. \u201cBut we couldn’t be more excited and pleased with the miracle that Robby’s fertility specialist has managed. It’s really unusual to see a sixty-five year old bearing twins, but my husband is truly young at heart.\u201d she said, Zimmer\u2019s maternity style has drawn the attention of national media. Photos of the University President wearing a Hawaiian shirt and skinny jeans over a flower print dress surfaced on the Internet, later making the front page of the National Enquirer. \u201cZimmer is the new \u2018in\u2019 celebrity,\u201d remarked sociology professor Alan Davis, \u201cand it looks like he is edging out Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton in terms of popularity.\u201d Zimmer reported that his body has been responding well to the pregnancy, but registered a few complaints. \u201cI have to go to the bathroom like, all the time. And oh my God \u2013 I\u2019M SO HORMONAL! Ahhhhh!\u201d said Zimmer, who curled up on his couch and sobbed quietly to himself for half an hour while frantically kissing a rubber duck. The gender of the unborn twins remain unknown. A Zimmer spokesperson has announced that the twins will be named Stick and Reese\u2019s Peanut Butter Cup, regardless of gender.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2310"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2310"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3343,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2310\/revisions\/3343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2310"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2310"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}