<\/p>\n
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL \u2013 Your favorite punk philosopher is \u201csuper pumped\u201d to board the space shuttle, sources confirm. Nietzsche, best known for defeating God in a \u201cfisticuffs grudge match,\u201d has lived in asylum in the United States since 1869, when he attained immortality. The father of nihilism offered some candid words to those criticizing his choice to explore the final frontier\ufeff. <\/p>\n
\u201cJust because I don\u2019t believe in anything doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t think space is dope as shit, you guys! You folks are such downers,\u201d Nietzsche told the AP on Thursday. <\/p>\n
\u201cOnce I destroyed God, there wasn\u2019t much else to do. I learned how to speak English and dabbled in needlepoint, but it just felt sort of empty, you know?\u201d Newly-immortal Nietzsche was spotted at various parties dotting the East Coast before he began lamenting “what it all means” in the late 1960s. He turned briefly to filmmaking, collaborating on Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life <\/em>and Wes Anderson’s The Life Aquatic<\/em> before another foray into philosophy. However, Nietzsche quickly became disillusioned. <\/p>\n \u201cTimes aren\u2019t like they used to be, when life was colored by constant, never-ending anxiety about death. Philosophizing doesn\u2019t have much point if I\u2019ll always be around. So I figured, fuck it, space seems pretty cool.\u201d<\/p>\n Sources confirmed that Nietzsche will be joining the manned mission to Mars in 2025 alongside Walt Disney, Adolf Hitler, and Elvis Presley, among other rumored immortals. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Zachary Augustine May 27, 2013 CAPE CANAVERAL, FL \u2013 Your favorite punk philosopher is \u201csuper pumped\u201d to board the space shuttle, sources confirm. Nietzsche, best known for defeating God in a \u201cfisticuffs grudge match,\u201d has lived in asylum in the United States since 1869, when he attained immortality. The father of nihilism offered some candid words to those criticizing his choice to explore the final frontier\ufeff. \u201cJust because I don\u2019t believe in anything doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t think space is dope as shit, you guys! You folks are such downers,\u201d Nietzsche told the AP on Thursday. \u201cOnce I destroyed God, there wasn\u2019t much else to do. I learned how to speak English and dabbled in needlepoint, but it just felt sort of empty, you know?\u201d Newly-immortal Nietzsche was spotted at various parties dotting the East Coast before he began lamenting “what it all means” in the late 1960s. He turned briefly to filmmaking, collaborating on Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life and Wes Anderson’s The Life Aquatic before another foray into philosophy. However, Nietzsche quickly became disillusioned. \u201cTimes aren\u2019t like they used to be, when life was colored by constant, never-ending anxiety about death. Philosophizing doesn\u2019t have much point if I\u2019ll always be around. So I figured, fuck it, space seems pretty cool.\u201d Sources confirmed that Nietzsche will be joining the manned mission to Mars in 2025 alongside Walt Disney, Adolf Hitler, and Elvis Presley, among other rumored immortals.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2292","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2292"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2292\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3325,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2292\/revisions\/3325"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2292"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2292"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2292"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}