<\/p>\n
Thirteen monarch butterflies accidentally completed the United States naturalization process yesterday, becoming full-fledged Americans bound to serve and protect the Constitution. <\/p>\n
The butterflies apparently believed they were participating in the natural process of migration, which is innate to their species, but were in fact being guided into citizenship by a free-thinking immigration officer. <\/p>\n
\u201cThe citizenship test was very hard,\u201d said one butterfly. \u201cBut no harder than gnawing myself out of a chrysalis constructed from spit and silk.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I was flying through all these hoops so I could migrate seasonally to Mexico, as I usually do,\u201d he or she continued. \u201cI guess my green card was set to expire, so I mistakenly went through the entire citizenship process instead.\u201d <\/p>\n
The butterflies first filed paperwork using their ink-dipped proboscides, waitingfor only three years instead of the usual five before proceeding, as they had all accidentally married U.S. citizens the year before. <\/p>\n
\u201cPaperwork in this country is certainly confusing,\u201d another butterfly (or possibly the same one) said of his or her accidental marriage. \u201cI thought I was helping decorate the weeding, but it turns out I was at my own wedding.\u201d <\/p>\n
The butterflies then collaborated on the citizenship exam, with some turning the pages and others filling out answers. <\/p>\n
Later, the butterflieswere required to register for Selective Service, having been under the impression they were dodging wind drafts, instead of the military draft. <\/p>\n
The thirteen lepidopterae<\/i> were sworn in as citizens yesterday, mistakenly believing that they were attending a Shins concert as a last hurrah before they really moved south. <\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t have ears,\u201d one butterfly said. \u201cIt\u2019s hard to understand what\u2019s going on a lot of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Maya Handa May 27, 2013 Thirteen monarch butterflies accidentally completed the United States naturalization process yesterday, becoming full-fledged Americans bound to serve and protect the Constitution. The butterflies apparently believed they were participating in the natural process of migration, which is innate to their species, but were in fact being guided into citizenship by a free-thinking immigration officer. \u201cThe citizenship test was very hard,\u201d said one butterfly. \u201cBut no harder than gnawing myself out of a chrysalis constructed from spit and silk.\u201d \u201cI thought I was flying through all these hoops so I could migrate seasonally to Mexico, as I usually do,\u201d he or she continued. \u201cI guess my green card was set to expire, so I mistakenly went through the entire citizenship process instead.\u201d The butterflies first filed paperwork using their ink-dipped proboscides, waitingfor only three years instead of the usual five before proceeding, as they had all accidentally married U.S. citizens the year before. \u201cPaperwork in this country is certainly confusing,\u201d another butterfly (or possibly the same one) said of his or her accidental marriage. \u201cI thought I was helping decorate the weeding, but it turns out I was at my own wedding.\u201d The butterflies then collaborated on the citizenship exam, with some turning the pages and others filling out answers. Later, the butterflieswere required to register for Selective Service, having been under the impression they were dodging wind drafts, instead of the military draft. The thirteen lepidopterae were sworn in as citizens yesterday, mistakenly believing that they were attending a Shins concert as a last hurrah before they really moved south. \u201cI don\u2019t have ears,\u201d one butterfly said. \u201cIt\u2019s hard to understand what\u2019s going on a lot of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2288"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2288"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2288\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3321,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2288\/revisions\/3321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}