<\/p>\n
HYDE PARK\u2014Recent studies suggest that over three-quarters of participants in Coed Intramural Frisbee Leagues \u201cdon\u2019t even know how to throw\u201d. Multiple firstyear girls, coerced to play in the weekly games in order to reach the gender quota, reported that they were directed to blindly shout \u201cSTALL ONE\u201d whenever the other team touched the disc.<\/p>\n
\u201cMost teams just give it to the kid who plays for the college and then cherry pick, you know?\u201d noted firstyear Brennan King of Booth House, \u201cIt\u2019s just disgraceful to watch an hour of this.\u201d Sources later confirmed that the vast majority of successful plays did indeed occur between \u201cthat kid who plays for the college\u201d and \u201cour Resident Head shamelessly reliving his glory days\u201d. <\/p>\n
The University\u2019s immense focus on quality extracurricular programs has been cited as a sharp increase in Frisbee participants. Is this finally the tipping point in shifting the campus image of sports? <\/p>\n
The Shady<\/em> Dealer<\/em> spoke with an undefeated Frisbee team captain at [redacted] to get his insider perspective. \u201cWith the Spring season well underway and the Ex Libris-Maclean Quarter Final rematch rapidly approaching it\u2019s often easy to forget how much of campus is not enthralled by our fantastic sports programming,\u201d the anonymous male said as he slammed PBR poured from his dripping UChicago Ultimate disc, deftly wiping foamy residue off his chin with the glistening fibers of a bro-tank. \u201cThe Maroon\u2019s<\/em> well-written but controversial editorial ‘Frisbee Match Prompts a Conversation Regarding Our University\u2019s Core Values’ made me aware of the fact that some people view this fine establishment as much more than an excuse to ‘throw disc’, ‘dump’, or ‘hammer-throw that bitch’ on the daily\u2014please excuse my industry jargon. It is both surprising and deeply disturbing to me that the vast majority of athletes here prioritize academics over a trip to Jericho\u2014which, I’d like to add, has over 30 five-star reviews on Yelp for its cleanliness and homey atmosphere,\u201d he added with beautiful diction over the roar of Ke$ha\u2019s \u201cBlah Blah Blah\u201d reverberating with surprising clarity off of the crumbling, unkempt brickwork.<\/p>\n At the time of publication, the Ex Libris-Maclean Quarter Final had reportedly been postponed abruptly when a struggling first year mistakenly threw the disc into oncoming traffic on the Midway. “Oh shit,” sources added. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Zach Augustine June 2, 2013 HYDE PARK\u2014Recent studies suggest that over three-quarters of participants in Coed Intramural Frisbee Leagues \u201cdon\u2019t even know how to throw\u201d. Multiple firstyear girls, coerced to play in the weekly games in order to reach the gender quota, reported that they were directed to blindly shout \u201cSTALL ONE\u201d whenever the other team touched the disc. \u201cMost teams just give it to the kid who plays for the college and then cherry pick, you know?\u201d noted firstyear Brennan King of Booth House, \u201cIt\u2019s just disgraceful to watch an hour of this.\u201d Sources later confirmed that the vast majority of successful plays did indeed occur between \u201cthat kid who plays for the college\u201d and \u201cour Resident Head shamelessly reliving his glory days\u201d. The University\u2019s immense focus on quality extracurricular programs has been cited as a sharp increase in Frisbee participants. Is this finally the tipping point in shifting the campus image of sports? The Shady Dealer spoke with an undefeated Frisbee team captain at [redacted] to get his insider perspective. \u201cWith the Spring season well underway and the Ex Libris-Maclean Quarter Final rematch rapidly approaching it\u2019s often easy to forget how much of campus is not enthralled by our fantastic sports programming,\u201d the anonymous male said as he slammed PBR poured from his dripping UChicago Ultimate disc, deftly wiping foamy residue off his chin with the glistening fibers of a bro-tank. \u201cThe Maroon\u2019s well-written but controversial editorial ‘Frisbee Match Prompts a Conversation Regarding Our University\u2019s Core Values’ made me aware of the fact that some people view this fine establishment as much more than an excuse to ‘throw disc’, ‘dump’, or ‘hammer-throw that bitch’ on the daily\u2014please excuse my industry jargon. It is both surprising and deeply disturbing to me that the vast majority of athletes here prioritize academics over a trip to Jericho\u2014which, I’d like to add, has over 30 five-star reviews on Yelp for its cleanliness and homey atmosphere,\u201d he added with beautiful diction over the roar of Ke$ha\u2019s \u201cBlah Blah Blah\u201d reverberating with surprising clarity off of the crumbling, unkempt brickwork. At the time of publication, the Ex Libris-Maclean Quarter Final had reportedly been postponed abruptly when a struggling first year mistakenly threw the disc into oncoming traffic on the Midway. “Oh shit,” sources added.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2283"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2283\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3316,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2283\/revisions\/3316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}