<\/p>\n
<\/strong> A perfectly acceptable pause in conversation was ruined last Tuesday when first-year Dwight Mulligan blurted out his singularly unnecessary catchphrase: \u201cWell, uh\u2026 this is awkward.\u201d <\/p>\n It began innocently: a handful of college students engaging in casual conversation about their Hum courses. However, a brief moment eventually too place in which none of the participants were speaking. Mulligan, a member of the MTV generation who perceives any lack of stimulus as profoundly disturbing, immediately began to feel overwhelmed by the modicum of silence. His outburst, an attempt to alleviate the imagined awkwardness, actually managed to double it in the most ironic way possible. <\/p>\n \u201cI thought my skin was going to crawl off of my body,\u201d commented Hitchcock resident Samantha Lappen. \u201cOne minute I was bonding with my fellow peers\u2014the next, I felt more embarrassed than the time my grandfather called my Asian-American friend \u2018chopstick boy.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHis words had literally the opposite of his intended effect,\u201d noted John Filo, a contributor to the dialogue. \u201cIt was like he proposed to his girlfriend with an elaborate romantic gesture, and instead of saying, “yes,” she immediately burst into flames.\u201d <\/p>\n Verbal communication, a staple of human interaction, typically ebbs and flows in a natural pattern of heightened discussion punctuated by pauses, during which people reflect on the topic at hand before their chit-chat reignites and continues. Mulligan\u2019s conversation would have effortlessly picked up in approximately three seconds, had he abstained from commenting on the wholly fictitious awkwardness. Instead, it tragically screeched to an abrupt and humiliating halt. \u201cIt died faster than the dreams of an Ivy League reject,\u201d explained Robert White, remembering the event with tears in his eyes. “That bastard”, he added, shaking his head. <\/p>\n At press time, Mulligan was unavailable for comment, as he was busy persistently apologizing for something that had already been forgiven. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Morgan Pantuck Oct. 18, 2013 A perfectly acceptable pause in conversation was ruined last Tuesday when first-year Dwight Mulligan blurted out his singularly unnecessary catchphrase: \u201cWell, uh\u2026 this is awkward.\u201d It began innocently: a handful of college students engaging in casual conversation about their Hum courses. However, a brief moment eventually too place in which none of the participants were speaking. Mulligan, a member of the MTV generation who perceives any lack of stimulus as profoundly disturbing, immediately began to feel overwhelmed by the modicum of silence. His outburst, an attempt to alleviate the imagined awkwardness, actually managed to double it in the most ironic way possible. \u201cI thought my skin was going to crawl off of my body,\u201d commented Hitchcock resident Samantha Lappen. \u201cOne minute I was bonding with my fellow peers\u2014the next, I felt more embarrassed than the time my grandfather called my Asian-American friend \u2018chopstick boy.\u2019\u201d \u201cHis words had literally the opposite of his intended effect,\u201d noted John Filo, a contributor to the dialogue. \u201cIt was like he proposed to his girlfriend with an elaborate romantic gesture, and instead of saying, “yes,” she immediately burst into flames.\u201d Verbal communication, a staple of human interaction, typically ebbs and flows in a natural pattern of heightened discussion punctuated by pauses, during which people reflect on the topic at hand before their chit-chat reignites and continues. Mulligan\u2019s conversation would have effortlessly picked up in approximately three seconds, had he abstained from commenting on the wholly fictitious awkwardness. Instead, it tragically screeched to an abrupt and humiliating halt. \u201cIt died faster than the dreams of an Ivy League reject,\u201d explained Robert White, remembering the event with tears in his eyes. “That bastard”, he added, shaking his head. At press time, Mulligan was unavailable for comment, as he was busy persistently apologizing for something that had already been forgiven.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2259"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3292,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2259\/revisions\/3292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}