<\/p>\n
Citing the stress of midterms and the \u201ctotal need for some chillaxing,\u201d Dean Boyer has declared a campus-wide \u201cweed weekend\u201d beginning January 16th, 2014. Although the traditional weekend lasts from Saturday to Sunday, Boyer noted in a campus-wide email blast that extending the weed weekend to include Thursday, Friday, and the following Monday would really give students the chance to \u201cbro out\u201d and \u201cjust hang\u201d for an additional three days. The Dean of the College and Martin A. Ryerson Distinguished Service Professor in History also stated in the hastily written electronic communication that unnamed persons in the University of Chicago community had lately been \u201csuper up-tight\u201d and \u201cjank as fuck.\u201d Boyer\u2019s reasoning is summed up in the following excerpt from the email received by all 5,369 undergraduates in the College and all UChicago faculty:<\/p>\n
It seems like every day here, someone\u2019s like, \u201cDo this\u201d or \u201cDo that\u201d or \u201cI need a draft of the statement by noon\u201d or whatever. And I\u2019m like, seriously, <\/em>chill-the-fuck-out. Okay? It\u2019s life! Live it, ya know? This whole school is in need of some serious downtime. And I know just the herb that can provide, if you know what I mean \ud83d\ude09<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Boyer also suggested that students \u201cHot-Box\u201d the Cobb Lecture Hall, to create what he repeatedly referred to as a \u201cCobb-Box.\u201d Contained within the two-thousand word email which ended with \u201cSent from my highPhone, lol\u201d was a list of suggested activities for weed weekend:<\/p>\n Circle up on the quad and just pass one.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Throw some disc.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em><\/em>Talk about meaningful shit.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Order pizza.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Get the band back together.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Think up a new mantra.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Put on Jake\u2019s Floyd records.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Although Dean Boyer did not directly address where or how students could obtain the Schedule 1 narcotic, he did suggest that students and faculty \u201cshare the wealth\u201d and \u201cdon\u2019t hoard,\u201d while also encouraging the college community to \u201csmoke \u2018em if you got \u2018em.\u201d Student reactions to the declaration have been largely positive, although some faculty still have doubts. When asked for comment, President Zimmer responded with a single menacing glare. <\/p>\n In preparation for weed weekend, the Maroon Market has doubled its orders for Pringles, Chex Mix, and Ben and Jerry\u2019s \u201cDark Side of the Moo\u201d ice cream.<\/p>\n As always, The Shady Dealer reminds you to stay safe this weed weekend. Prolonged marijuana use can be damaging to the brain. Be smart. Be safe. Be prepared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Evan Bernstein Dec. 24, 2013 Citing the stress of midterms and the \u201ctotal need for some chillaxing,\u201d Dean Boyer has declared a campus-wide \u201cweed weekend\u201d beginning January 16th, 2014. Although the traditional weekend lasts from Saturday to Sunday, Boyer noted in a campus-wide email blast that extending the weed weekend to include Thursday, Friday, and the following Monday would really give students the chance to \u201cbro out\u201d and \u201cjust hang\u201d for an additional three days. The Dean of the College and Martin A. Ryerson Distinguished Service Professor in History also stated in the hastily written electronic communication that unnamed persons in the University of Chicago community had lately been \u201csuper up-tight\u201d and \u201cjank as fuck.\u201d Boyer\u2019s reasoning is summed up in the following excerpt from the email received by all 5,369 undergraduates in the College and all UChicago faculty: It seems like every day here, someone\u2019s like, \u201cDo this\u201d or \u201cDo that\u201d or \u201cI need a draft of the statement by noon\u201d or whatever. And I\u2019m like, seriously, chill-the-fuck-out. Okay? It\u2019s life! Live it, ya know? This whole school is in need of some serious downtime. And I know just the herb that can provide, if you know what I mean \ud83d\ude09 Boyer also suggested that students \u201cHot-Box\u201d the Cobb Lecture Hall, to create what he repeatedly referred to as a \u201cCobb-Box.\u201d Contained within the two-thousand word email which ended with \u201cSent from my highPhone, lol\u201d was a list of suggested activities for weed weekend: Circle up on the quad and just pass one. Throw some disc. Talk about meaningful shit. Order pizza. Get the band back together. Think up a new mantra. Put on Jake\u2019s Floyd records. Although Dean Boyer did not directly address where or how students could obtain the Schedule 1 narcotic, he did suggest that students and faculty \u201cshare the wealth\u201d and \u201cdon\u2019t hoard,\u201d while also encouraging the college community to \u201csmoke \u2018em if you got \u2018em.\u201d Student reactions to the declaration have been largely positive, although some faculty still have doubts. When asked for comment, President Zimmer responded with a single menacing glare. In preparation for weed weekend, the Maroon Market has doubled its orders for Pringles, Chex Mix, and Ben and Jerry\u2019s \u201cDark Side of the Moo\u201d ice cream. As always, The Shady Dealer reminds you to stay safe this weed weekend. Prolonged marijuana use can be damaging to the brain. Be smart. Be safe. Be prepared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2229"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3262,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2229\/revisions\/3262"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}