<\/p>\n
Particle physicists working at CERN Laboratories have just confirmed the existence of the Struggle, the fundamental particle initially theorized in 1963 by Peter Struggle which completes the Standard Model of Physical Exertion and makes everything really, really annoying and hard to do. Scientists detected the so-called \u201cGrog Particle\u201d by attempting to accelerate high-energy protons, and then realizing that shit is just too difficult.<\/p>\n
\u201cAin\u2019t nobody got time for that,\u201d explained Dr. Francois Englert, as he yawned and slouched over in a way that accentuated his large, protuberant stomach. \u201cI was like, ugh, we\u2019ve been trying for 40 fucking years already. I\u2019m just so done. You feel me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut then,\u201d he continued, half-heartedly reaching across his desk for a bag of Doritos, \u201cThat\u2019s when I realized: Wait. The Struggle. It\u2019s too real right now. There\u2019s no way this is just a statistical fluke.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was just too real,\u201d he added, emphatically. \u201cSeriously. You don\u2019t even know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Scientists detected the Struggle using the $10 billion Large Hadron Collider, a monumental feat of human engineering and a real bitch to assemble. The machine generated hundreds of petabytes of data, which scientists glumly stared at for six to ten minutes before rubbing their temples and taking a coffee break.<\/p>\n
The Struggle explains multiple scientific phenomena, such as why the gravitational force is so weak, yet you still can\u2019t get up from the floor to finish your chem p-set. It also sheds light on the nature of dark matter, as well as why-does-it-even matter. <\/p>\n
Peter Struggle and Francois Englert are expected to win the 2013 Nobeleagured Prize in physics for their discovery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Morgan Pantuck Dec. 24, 2013 Particle physicists working at CERN Laboratories have just confirmed the existence of the Struggle, the fundamental particle initially theorized in 1963 by Peter Struggle which completes the Standard Model of Physical Exertion and makes everything really, really annoying and hard to do. Scientists detected the so-called \u201cGrog Particle\u201d by attempting to accelerate high-energy protons, and then realizing that shit is just too difficult. \u201cAin\u2019t nobody got time for that,\u201d explained Dr. Francois Englert, as he yawned and slouched over in a way that accentuated his large, protuberant stomach. \u201cI was like, ugh, we\u2019ve been trying for 40 fucking years already. I\u2019m just so done. You feel me?\u201d \u201cBut then,\u201d he continued, half-heartedly reaching across his desk for a bag of Doritos, \u201cThat\u2019s when I realized: Wait. The Struggle. It\u2019s too real right now. There\u2019s no way this is just a statistical fluke.\u201d \u201cIt was just too real,\u201d he added, emphatically. \u201cSeriously. You don\u2019t even know.\u201d Scientists detected the Struggle using the $10 billion Large Hadron Collider, a monumental feat of human engineering and a real bitch to assemble. The machine generated hundreds of petabytes of data, which scientists glumly stared at for six to ten minutes before rubbing their temples and taking a coffee break. The Struggle explains multiple scientific phenomena, such as why the gravitational force is so weak, yet you still can\u2019t get up from the floor to finish your chem p-set. It also sheds light on the nature of dark matter, as well as why-does-it-even matter. Peter Struggle and Francois Englert are expected to win the 2013 Nobeleagured Prize in physics for their discovery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2227"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3260,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2227\/revisions\/3260"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}